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Do you know the feeling
of sitting in a hospital room
waiting to hear what's wrong with you?
Do you know the feeling
of getting on stage
to talk in front of everyone?
Do you know the feeling
of almost getting in a car accident?
That's what anxiety feels like.
Not prison, nor killed,
But his memoir's fulfilled
He named me Ann Williams
Amidst hints he instilled.

His fact is our fiction - demurely disguised.
Bad move, Tomas Gregory
You're tied to your lies
Unwise, catalyzed

Your pathetic demise.

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Gang ***** in Aspen:
The personal account of an innocent man, savaged by American injustice.

http://www.amazon.com/Gang-*****-Aspen-personal-injustice/dp/0984940111

how bizzare; how bizzare
 May 2016 Alexander Coy
L Seagull
My sexuality to your fear of ambiguity
Like hot oil on the wound
I know you missed the lesson of distinction
Between myself and safety of your fragile spirit
The difference is that
My body and my *** are parts of my own being
I wasn't born to satisfy
To be a target or a prize makes me wild
With rage
So do release that awkward tension
I am to be me and to enjoy this life with all my senses
The way I do when not submerged in shadow
The warmth of closeness, the movement's feel, the rhythm of breath, the softness of my lover's skin,
Forgetting the limits of myself, merging with cosmos through his touch.
Do rest assured your physique  doesn't strike my fansy
I am repulsed at the idea
Hardly **** to push those ugly triggers
Sorry, no rhyme today, probably will delete this in a little while. For now i need to let the steam
out . Some ******* was aggressively hitting  on me at the bar yesterday. Was ready to **** this subhuman *******.
To only remain sad after a death, is to live life selfishly.  
But, to brush over heartache with a smile is only going to disrespect your loved one.  
Do justice, have the strength show the world your sadness, but do not forget to wipe the dust off your heart.  
Experience life, that is the best way to serve those who have lost theirs
 May 2016 Alexander Coy
Rina Vana
A cure to a question
which way do I turn I do not know this place I have no direction
two AM
I caught the attention of pedestrians and firemen because
I was swearing in the streets due to a fleeting aggravation
that drove me
nearly
senseless
Praying on my knees to a god I scarcely even believe in
to expose this unknown disease which gave
you every reason to be un
comfortable


But you never complained, except
when we were awake in the break of the night and your moans matured to that of a dog’s deep howl and I
had nothing more to do than to hold your skin tight as if it were to fall off of your bones within minutes


and your chilled limbs would diminish to
nothing more than a stone in the ground that I would visit every week or so and
leave flowers for your soul to smell


I will thread my dress from scratch with a spool of black stars and a new silver needle
The bottom will drag across the dead dirt because I made it too long for my petite body,
on purpose
so no one could gaze upon my swollen bare feet bruised from suede heels that squeezed my toes for too long when I dressed up for you in front of the dusty mirror on Wednesday’s dawn


My lips will curve words like bubbles blown from a child’s toy
do I look okay?
The left fragile strap slips off my shoulder as a breeze steals the right and a breath sighing yes trickles chills south on the ship of my spine


I will be wearing a whopping gray floppy hat,
the one with the violet sashay you gave me in the spring
It will fold over my quiet face and
cloak the wounds of my hazel flaw
 May 2016 Alexander Coy
Katie Ann
I just want someone to tell me
It's okay to be myself
When I don't think it is.
 May 2016 Alexander Coy
Katie Ann
I loved an entirely different version of who you are
Yet in the end
The difference didn't matter
I already loved
the first, second, and hundredth version
Every version
Had me
I loved
Every version
How could I accept all of you when you couldn't accept any of me?
 May 2016 Alexander Coy
Morgan
i was glass when you found me,
you knew how fragile i was,
just cleared from the hospital,
just learning how to sleep again
without getting woken up
every thirty minutes for vitals
and medication

i was glass when you found me,
you held me in your palms
like a waterglobe,
occasionally swaying me from
side to side
to see what i was like inside

i was glass when you found me,
glistening and elegant
but desperately scared
of falling off the ledge,
like the vase on our dresser-
daisies in my hair,
but potential tragedy everywhere

i leaned into you
and begged you to hold me up

you didn't drop me on accident

i didn't slip from your grip

you didn't lose me
in a tired haze
or a lapse of judgement

you threw me into the gravel
with your arm up over your head
and your eyes closed

you broke me
into fifty different pieces;
a graveyard of sharp edges,
a garden of glistening truths,
dimmed by the hovering hand
of dirt and sand

now boys are afraid
to pick me up off the ground,
i'm still right where you left me,
cause i'm not worth a cut on a hand,

no one will bleed for me,
not in this town

and to think,
all i wanted was to *******,
i never meant to love you,
all i wanted was to *******,
i wish i never met you
Find. Find the nearest ledge you say
Step. Step up to the plate you say
Suspend. Suspend you say
Hang again lonely you say
Again you say
End. End it all you say to ME
I plead for escape please save me
No one will love me you say. No one.
I want nothing more than to feel free
Sweet crying sky I want to survive...
Try you say. Try to stay
My headaches to medicate it, but until
I'm ready to tread this road safely then
Call me crazy. Crazy you say. Crazy.
Insane you say. Insane.
Weak and worthless you say.
You say- No! Go away I SAY.
I am... I... I am worthy of living, loving and I am not going to give up. I am not. I say.
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