i know he never loved me, but i relished every second that he pretended

i tried to **** myself
and two days later i got a concussion from a car accident
everybody asked me "how's your head?"
and i said "fine"
but i thought about how no one normally asked me about the state of my head
because i was not fine
i was not fine
concussions aren't the only things that can be wrong with your brain
but why does nobody ask you about them?

please, i beg you, take care of yourself. when your stomach rumbles, eat. when your eyelids droop, sleep. and when your voice quivers, find a comfortable spot and cry, cry your little heart out. but when you're done, dry your eyes, occupy yourself, and know in your heart that you are better than that. do not be sad, be angry. become a roaring fire and burn the memory of all those who have wronged you.
do not let the leaky faucets **** you. do not drown in a bucket of tears. light it on fire. pour it out. throw it. scream "*******" to sadness because you are so much better than it.
let it out, let it out, let it out, then be done.

because yes love, right now your sadness feels quite heavy but the truth is that it is just a paperweight. learn to turn the page.

you are not delicate.
when your flesh bruises, when your bones break, when your head aches, when your lover leaves, you will carry on.
there is a reason tears do not burn skin.
your muscles were made to lift your heavy heart and leaden legs.
you were made to carry on.

so when he tells you "i don't love you anymore," your bones will not allow you to collapse, your muscles will carry you forward. there is a reason your eyes are in the front of your head. don't look back.

you will not break.
you are not a cheap manufactured toy.
you are an exquisite human being hand-crafted by the likes of god.
your weak joints cannot be snapped.
you are made of blood, sweat, and tears and you are resilient.
your heart will not break. the average human heart heart has over 2 billion beats in it. until you are old and wrinkled, your heart will be there, ba-thum, ba-thum, reminding you that yes, you are alive, you are so alive.

your bones don't break on a nightly basis.
a force of 1,700 pounds per square inch is required to fracture a femur, and yes, i know his words felt like punches, but your ribs are quite alright.

i know that your past sits on your shoulders, i promise that you were made to bear its weight.

your heart strings are made of solid steel and though you may not have an iron grip, you learn to catch the curveballs. i promise.

so no, you will not break.
you are not delicate. you are strong, you are beautiful, you are unique.
you will not break.
you will endure