Darling?

Darling?

Darling?

I love you, I swear it.
I'm not upset, I swear it.
I'm safe, I swear it.

I'm better- can you believe that?

We say I love you over the phone in an echoing tone
Over and over and over again.

It is only now that I realize it's for each and every day we cannot talk, so that not a day goes by without being filled with one. And I smile at this realization.

And I hope you do too. You're beautiful with a smile and without.

But seeing that smile gives me so much hope, angel.

And I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

before her
fall in love with the feeling of
your own skin
marvel at the light hitting each contour of
yourself, inside and out
her name on your lips
cannot, will not mend you until
you learn to adore
the color of your own eyes
and the feeling of your own hands intertwined

The night air is warm as it brushes past me
Like curtains lit by lightning floating in an open window

The lost moth wanders between suns
From sun to flowering sun
Searching for home in the night

If you just ask me to out my blades on your nightstand while casually checking your email on your iPhone, it won't happen.

If you offhandedly remind me to eat while heading out the door for a few hours, it won't happen.

And if you tell me living is worth it while slapping me in the face with a ton of mistrust and coldness, it won't happen.

Trust me.

She keeps saying I'm not trying to get better.

I don't even understand why I'm like this, why my emotions are so demanding, why my skin aches to be carved into designs and swirls of the brightest hues of red.

If I knew, I'd explain.

But apparently, information that slips my lips is nonexistent. I'm not trying to get better, I don't want to get better, I'm not accepting the help she tries to offer...

Would it hurt you a bit to just listen? I can barely speak as it is, but when I do,the yelling overpowers it.

I just want a hug. And friends.

And death.

How can I be so aware of my own insanity and yet have no power to control it?

i love that it took 30 slits for you to realize I needed help. Thanks for leaving me at the emergency room by myself. Don't you ever ******* dare touch me again. I just want to die.

a devil
a devil
a godforsaken devil

you take her hopes
you hold her dreams
you shatter them into pieces

she has given you her heart
something that I know is not easily given.
She has shown you her weaknesses, her loves,
Something she protects with her life

And you've thrown it all away?
Without a second glance at the stress fractures you've created on her body?

You've taken a priceless blessing,
a rare thing of beauty
and brushed it to the side
like a cat bats its toy.

Let me tell-no.
Let me promise you
That if you even think about playing with her a moment longer
If you have a single though of getting away with this

You're wrong.

I will give my life to protect her.