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And when he does not love me anymore,
I will build him
one last altar,
and decide to burn it to the ground.

But will only get as far
as lighting the match.

Thinking about how he used matches
for something.
Sometime.
Probably.

I'll brush my teeth,
thinking of the gaps between his.
How really,
it's a great metaphor for the distance between out hearts
or something stupid like that.

But in the end,
it's not a metaphor,
or an analogy.
They're just teeth.
(That could never quite come together
kind of like us)

I will crawl into bed
imagining an alternate universe
in which we have started a life together.
One where I wake up and reach across the bed for him.
Get the kids ready for school,
which is funny
because in this universe I never wanted children,
but in that universe,
we created something out of nothing.
Something with his eyes,
and my nose.
A manifestation of the love between two people.
Proof that it happened.
That is was real.
And it was resilient enough to breathe life into a world
that only offered it death.

In that universe,
our hair turns as silver
as our wedding rings.
And each wrinkle,
is a space where our skin just wanted
to hold the other person even closer.


But here
in this harsh reality,
time only pulls us apart.
And we will likely grow gray
with other people now.

In this universe,
I learn to say goodbye
to him.


I will build him
a library of poems.

And decide to burn it to the ground.
A poem on letting go.
Silence...
is the only thing I hear
Darkness...
is the only thing I see

But there's no fear
since there's only peace
here underwater
where i'm floating half asleep.

Slowly...
I close my eyes
Still underwater
and lured by the peace
I finally fall asleep...
Remember when you're underwater and everything is just silently peaceful?
Peace there is underwater and a warning that even the peace can lure you to your last breath.
You only can die but once, they say,
There isn’t a second time,
We carry fears all along the years
When we think, which day is mine?
We envisage that marble headstone
That’s indicative of our fate,
Standing ***** in some unknown field,
And wonder about the date.

How often we hear that someone said
While trying to be more than brave,
But shuddering at the thought of the dead,
‘Someone just walked on my grave.’
It creeps on up, the length of your spine
The shiver that never ends,
Bringing a list of your sins to mind
With no time to make amends.

You think of that open casket,
And lying there sightlessly,
So all can stare, and look at you there,
‘I’m glad that it isn’t me.’
We wonder if we will hear them sigh
About all the good we did,
Or even know, if terror will grow
The moment they close the lid.

I think about Averill Crombie
Who said that she knew the date,
And suddenly died as she sat wide-eyed
Poking the fire in the grate.
We all went along to the service,
To say our goodbyes, as we should,
But then our hair, stood up in the air,
On hearing three taps on the wood.

We scrambled to open the coffin,
To find her still breathing in there,
And then she began to start coughing,
******* in lungfuls of air.
She tried to climb out of the casket
With many a cuss and a curse,
But then must have blown a gasket,
So we carried her into the hearse.

You only can die but once, they say,
There isn’t a second time,
She knew the date, it was simply fate
But the first time blew her mind.
I still see them lower her into the ground
When she’d died, just twice, perhaps,
But I couldn’t swear, when leaving her there
That there weren’t three ghostly taps.

David Lewis Paget
 Nov 2016 AD Sifford
Luna Lynn
i think about you every day
and
every night

why wouldn't i
you are
my life

if you ever leave
i won't
ever stay

if i can't go with you
i will just
fade away

your love
is the blood
beneath my skin

where the
sidewalk ends
Heaven begins

forever my
heartbeat is
stronger

my only wish
is of timeless gift
to love you longer
(C) Maxwell 2016
 Nov 2016 AD Sifford
Riot
i'm the girl who tares herself apart
because she tries to find something she's missing

i'm the girl who is scared of her own mind
because i don't know how to control it

i'm the girl who used to cry herself to sleep
because i didn't know how to be "good enough"

i'm the girl who has a secret that will change everything

i'm the girl who gets stronger every fall

i'm the girl who makes jokes about things i really don't think are funny

i'm the girl who doesn't know what love feels like
but can give it to whoever needs it

i'm the girl who's more than an age

i'm more then what you think of me
 Nov 2016 AD Sifford
Death-throws
Have you ever heard the rain,
Fall softly on a tin shed,
A thousand ball bearings tinkering softly above your head,

Have you ever felt  a mountains breath,
Bite at your fingers as you climb,
The dead stone calling you to fall,
But still you press ahead

Have you ever felt the sun
Scorch the earth, but not your flesh,
Where you bask for warmth,
Plants lie dead

Have you ever felt loves warm embrace
Raw and powerful,
Sweep itself  from your life
Tyranically, full of dread.

Have you ever found yourself  lost
Only to find yourself exactly where you
Need to be.
The good things come with bad. And if your fortunate.  The bad comes with the good x
 Aug 2016 AD Sifford
ryn
Conscience
 Aug 2016 AD Sifford
ryn
Just me and him...
Having a conversation in the quiet of night.
Just me and him...
Baring honesty with no restrictions, no fright.

I tell him,
"Why must it always rain on me?"
I confide in him,
"Why do I feel what others don't see?"

Momentary silence...

And then he says,
"It doesn't always rain...
Sometimes you are sheltered.
You feel too much.
Over things that shouldn't have mattered."


Pause...

I am a child, fighting my case.
"If I don't, who then will choose to care?
Who then will toil for days to come?
I'm exhausted now...
And it's not fair."


He chides me in an instant.
"It was your choice to take on this role.
It was a decision made freely.
If you're looking a direction in which to point,
point to a mirror and you'll see the reason why it's taking a toll."


I gasp in faux disbelief
for I know it is true.
I've known all along
that it's me, not you.

I hesitate...
And then I reply...

*"Oh shut up!"
 Aug 2016 AD Sifford
ryn
Quell
 Aug 2016 AD Sifford
ryn
Quell the discontent
that consumes my being.
Relieve the rage
so I could
turn the page
to a whole new beginning.

Alleviate the pain
from seasons lost.
Allow new seedlings
to grow into trees...
So I could
carve fresh grains
onto the scars from yesterday's cost.

Extinguish the fires
that grow ever brazen.
Let the blaze
make way for embers that glow.
So I could
lick my wounds and still
indulge in a little piece of heaven.

Quell the love
that has brought much strife.
Ease my breaths
so the future may seem kind.
So I could
trudge on through this phase of life.
When you left you took my heart
And I let you
Because I thought it would be easier
Not to care
But it doesn’t work that way,
And without it I am so dead inside
My body is a skeleton
Filled with crumpled leaves,
Hardened flowers,
Distant emotions, and fading memories
They subside like tidewater out to sea
I feel nothing, am nothing
Not even a ghost
Just a barely breathing being,
Dying six feet under the surface
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