each kiss had me soaring higher
blinded by the sweetness of the sun
my name on your lips
just as holy as any sermon
they say falling feels alot like flying
until you hit the ground
but as the wax from my wings melted
sticky and red
i decided it was worth it
to be close to you
c l o s e s t  to you
for even a moment.

you want to see
how soft and tender my flesh is
and crack the inside of my mind open
like a pomegranate,
ruby jewels spilling onto white sheets.
i offer my plum ripe heart to you greedily
prey wanting to be hunted,
only to be left with sticky hands
from trying to hold myself together
when you walk away.

under the velvet darkness
of those summer nights
you held me close to you
like a sacred song

rumi once said
that lovers do not finally meet
somewhere along the way
they are inside each other
all along

is that why your name
reawakened a fire in my blood
the moments our lips touched?
your kisses sweet
like the first new moon in the sky

i drank the honey from your lips
and realised how blind i'd been
to ever look for love
when you had lived inside me
in every lifetime.

and now
when we are nothing
but dust
i only wish
that you let me show you
you were always
enough.

you looked at me
like a child
looks at his fallen ice cream
mourning the sweetness
he never got to taste

i should have seen it then
the goodbye in your eyes
i guess i was too busy
trying to stop myself
from spilling over your feet.

i once thought how easily
i could compare my love
to my eating disorder

sometimes i want all of you
to devour you hungrily
consuming you with greedy hands
only to exorcise you out
when i feel unworthy

other times it sneaks up on me
your name humming in the dark
leaving me starving
for nothing will satisfy but you

if only i could let myself
have a single taste
to press my teeth upon your heart
and feel your blood rising
to meet mine

then, once all i could taste was you
once you kissed every corner
of my honey soaked mouth
i would spit you out
before i could swallow you whole
before the hurt came
and ruined me entirely.

when i asked
if this was the end
you said
"i don't know"
and i heard "yes"

if you
had stopped talking
for long enough
i think you would have
heard me breaking
but instead
you went on
with your conversation
as if i wasn't crumbling
to pieces in front of you
my nectarine soft heart spoiled,
the juices running
onto the floor,
hands messy
from trying
to hold us together.