The lies
like dirt under
fingernails.
Call on your inner
Lady Macbeth
but no amount of scrubbing
can cleanse them.
They lie thick
on the tongue
tainting tastes
with blistered buds.
A thousand ants
marching on your
skin.
Unscratchable itch.
Descending into
madness.
Only truth can
set you free.
Only you can
free the truth.

I don’t believe I’ll ever
understand – or forgive or forget – or even know how

he was never, never going to leave me. Yesterday.
And how
he is never, never going to be
with me. Today.

This second, I will
make a little cup of tea
And try not to spill it
or burn my tongue. And dream of the ease
of many tomorrows from now.

One day you'll know,
and you'll come back to me.

When a gun is pointed at you,
you are afraid of the gun,
not the one who
points it
at you.
                                                            ­                    *We aren't afraid of people,
                                                         ­                      but to the thoughts that have
                                                                ­                                            come alive
                                                           ­                                                 into            ­                                                                 ­                               words.

I was in love with the way he tells me about you,
Like your name is caressed before it leaves his mouth.
I keep repeating his voice in my head,
Thinking it was me he was talking about.

I was in love with the way he sings for you,
Like you were always the only woman left on earth.
I keep replaying how he recklessly strums the guitar,
Pretending I didn't hear my heart hurt.

I was in love with the way he melts you with his stare,
Like you were the only one there for him.
I keep reliving how he looks at you,
Imagining someday he'll look at me like that too.

I was in love with his words,
Like you were the only story to reveal.
I keep recalling how he described you like a drug,
Anticipating that he'd realize he's too good for you.

I was in love with the way he holds your hands,
Like they were the most precious things left in the world.
I keep remembering your fingers were always interlocked,
Hoping he will soon let go.

I am sorry I loved him,
I am sorry I still envy you.
Because no matter how many times I tell myself ******* on how much I am better than you,
I cannot forget the vision of you holding and kissing each other too easily,
I never came any closer on erasing how your bodies perfectly fit each other.

I
Never
Came
Any
Closer.

But forgive me,
I never knew how to unlove.
I never knew how to forget.
I never knew how to kiss..
The past good bye.

It's not for me to ask,
But please give him the love he needs,
The love he wants,
The love he deserves,
The love he desires.

Love him more than he loves you.
Love him for me.
Please.

Because I will never have the chance.
Because I will never come closer.
Because he will never let me.
Because it's always you.

112415

At kaya nga ayokong mag-lotto,
Kasi naaalala kong walang pag-asang manalo,
Mabuti pa si Chito,
Hindi nauubusan ng liriko.

At ayokong umasa sa roleta,
Kasi ako yung tipong sigurista,
Hindi naman ako dumaraan sa peryahan,
Moderno nga pala sa'ming bayan.

Hayaan mo, hindi ako mag-aaksaya ng barya,
Papel lang kasi siyang humahagkan sa bulsa.
Sandali, pagkat hindi ako mayaman,
Hindi ka kasi mabibili ng ginto't dyamante sa tindahan.

Paumanhin, wala naman kasi akong pera
Hindi ako magtataya sayo,
Lotto ka nga eh, walang kasiguraduhan.

The eclipse lit corridors
of our grandoir stage.
Basking in your shadow
Calms the tempest
that brews within
the caffeine infused blood of mine.
Each word that spills from
the tip of your tongue
is like the first kiss
the Earth has with the Rain.
All of this reechoing sound
is meant to be dismantled
like a severed limb
from a Ken doll
and grains into lead bullets
that slightly brushes past
the curvatures of my exit wounds.
Because,
you do not love me.

I broke a poets heart.
Now I’ll be immortal in their pain.
I’ll be the ink drops on their paper.
Their demons never slain.

I’ll be your seven wonders,
Your Atlantis and your Heaven.
I’ll be simple, I’ll be complicated,
I’ll be whatever label I’m given.

When you said you loved me,
You knew we weren’t meant to be.
You took my heart and claimed it,
But never did you see.

My heart is with another.
My mind, never on you.
It’s simple, black and white.
To my heart I must be true.