This weight on my chest

This feeling of 100 punches to my gut

The pounding of hammers in my head

The feeling of a blade slip through my fingers

The smell of iron in the air as the thick red water drips and flows

All these pains and yet the worst feeling I've felt was the crushing blows of your words echoing in my ears.

Your words weighing heavily on my heart like an Anvil defying physics.

I feel the pressure and it's caving in...

There are so many
lovers walking
the streets

arms over waists and
legs all in sync

where she's holding her books
and he's touching her hair
and the way that their eyes
glow;
they're so unaware

there are so many love-
songs
that live with the sea

they're pushing
they're pulling
they're singing to me

and so many lovers
here,
defying the blues

I'd have a lover
if I only loved
you.

He's the second one I've truly hurt and I realized now that I burn

I used to think that maybe it was them but it's really me who when touched charcoals their skin and makes them turn to ash

They don't want anything to do with me because I'm not like the others - I'm a light burning hotter than 98.7 and the shades of orange and blue and yellow fill my body so when they ask me to speak all that comes out is fire

My words sizzle on their skin and they turn away because no amount of water is going to spark out this flame

Play with my hair
Make me high
High on ***
Not high on drugs

Make me sweat
Now make me moan
Please go deeper
And don't stop

Make it hurt
Now make me cry
And don't let
This be last time

We are teens
Yet we know how to play
How to pose and how to sweat
And don't let this play be last
Again i wanna feel your precious lust

She was an alcoholic who wanted to go for a swim.
Her kids didn't stop her for they knew she was already dead from within.
She stayed out there from 4 p.m to 10.
And when they found her the water had frozen over her head.
She was a good person, good mother, good friend.
She just had a lot of issues she needed to tend.
She never asked for help because she didn't want it.
For she knew she was better off not on this planet.
And when they broke the ice in the summer to get her body.
Her death had finally become reality.
They held the funeral and everyone cried.
For they lost the woman that once stood by their side.
The woman that they never saw a reason to worry about.
Because they never saw the signs because they weren't loud.
She kept her problems to herself.
Why worry everyone else?
They don't care and it's none of their concern.
She just wishes she could get another turn.
Another turn to change things and make them better.
Maybe take her swim in better weather.