I thought that out of everything
I could rely on the moon
To always be there

But even she leaves me
At least once a month.

Ten teaspoons of pure suffering
With a sprinkle of love toughening
Add a pound of tormented soul
To mix up into the life bowl
                      
A tiny pinch of happiness
With a huge handful of darkness
Now give those two a solid roll
To mix up into the life bowl

Maybe add a dash of pleasure
Which must be light as a feather
Add chunks of torture for that toll
To mix up into the life bowl

Don’t forget a cup of heartbreak
Including all friends that are fake
With that, your recipe is whole
To mix up into the life bowl.

It took me years
To build myself
Molding my shape
With ***** fingerprints
And a dull butter knife
Smoothing out
Every rough edge

I spent my lifetime
Crafting this delicate clay
Into something
That didn't hurt my eyes
And when I was done
I baked it solid
Roasted
Into a sturdy piece
Of breathing art
…
And then you came along

You begged
To get close to me
Close enough
To see me
Close enough
To touch me
So I let you
Carefully - of course
Until seemingly
Your soft hands
Were gentle enough
To hold me

But as time passed
You became a bit more…
Careless
Careless
So every time
You picked me up
Part of me was left cracked
Before you set me back down
And your hands
Seemed to bring more hurt
Than comfort

I began to resent you
But I didn't dare say it
Because I was sitting
In nostalgia
Remembering the days
When I really was
A work of art
In your eyes

And yet, eventually
Your carelessness
Rotted to recklessness
Until one day
You dropped me -
The slivers
Of my little clay heart
Scattered on the floor

Despite your best efforts
It wasn't enough
Not even
All the King’s horses
And all the King's men
Could put me back
Together again
I was hopeless
And the fragments
You tried to glue back
Were worthless

What am I now?
Art? No
I'm just a sad lump
Of clay shards and glue
Disfigured beyond belief
An eye-sore
For anyone who looks at me

I wish I could say
That my shattering
Was entirely your fault
But I blame myself
For ever letting you
Get close enough
To touch me.

Only time I feel beautiful

Is when I starve myself.