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A Broken Poet Oct 2018
Where are you?
One call
Two call
Three call
No answer
Tears running down my cheeks
Just need to talk
Just need you to listen
But you don’t
You talk
I listen
With tears in my eyes
Putting myself on mute so you can’t hear my sobs
Why do I put up with this?
It’s never the right time to bring this up
You always have something happening
When is it my turn?
I start to talk
You interrupt
This friendship
This friendship is so one-sided
I’m always there
You call I answer
I listen
I call
You don’t pick up
Where am I supposed to go?
Hey guys, Thank Y'all so much for the support and love Y'all have shown me and my poems!
Much love - A broken poet
A Broken Poet Jun 2019
I  have been blocked from the world
The world I used to submerge myself in
I miss that world

I have been blocked from the good emotions
I have been blocked from happiness
My brain has betrayed me
My body has betrayed me
Hey guys, I'm sorry I haven't been active in quite a long time, I have been having a real struggle with my dear friend depression, please send prayers and good thoughts, Thanks.
With love, A broken Poet
A Broken Poet Oct 2018
Every poem that bleeds from my fingers are always formed from heartbreak
My poems are my pools of tears that I shed
The band-aids that are placed to cover my heart
The release from the pain
My way of making my pain beautiful

I write my poems from pain and heartbreak
But the saddest part of them is just how relatable they are
Everyone is sad
Everyone hurts
A Broken Poet Feb 2020
I wish I was enough for you
You left when I was 6 first
I still remember that heartbreak
I felt like I was dying
like you had killed me
I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted

Then you left when I was 10
I had been molested 5 months before
I needed you
I still remember that heartbreak
I felt like my heart was being ripped out
I'm sorry I was too broken for you

Then you left when I was 15
You said it was for a girl
I needed my daddy
I still remember that heartbreak
It was dull and I was used to the pain
I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you
A Broken Poet Oct 2018
If I hear one more person throw shade at you I might just cry
You’re human
You make mistakes
… Well at least that’s what I tell myself

Maybe I am stupid
Maybe this is some kind of self-punishment
I can’t let myself be happy
I can’t let myself feel loved by another
How can I when I still want to feel loved by you?

I hate that I love you
I hate that I lie to you
But it’s to keep you
I hate that you’re happy for me
I hate that I can’t be happy without you
I try to push you away
I can’t

You have become my life support
You have become my security blanket
I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry

I never meant for this to happen
How do I fix it though
How do I tell you the truth
How do I make the lies stop
How do I make myself stop

I break everything I touch
I am a disease
And you are infected
Please get rid of me
Throw me away
Make me hate you

Please, I beg you
Hate me
Hate everything that I am
Hate my past
Hate my present
Hate my future
Just hate me
Save yourself from me
A Broken Poet Sep 2018
Year after year
Day after day
The grief is still the same
It didn’t get better
It didn’t become okay
It swallowed me whole
Refusing to let me go
I shed a tear for everyday without you
The tears are endless like the heartbreak
Days pass and suddenly I’m back to that horrid day
I’m not allowed to shut everyone out for that day
My family refuses to let me
Funny how we all lost you
And yet they still fight me on grieving for the day
But I know you’d smack me upside the head
And ask me why I’m crying
I know you’re at ease and happy
But what I would give for another night on the front porch swing
A night I didn’t know at the time but would become one of the many memories I now hold onto like my life depends on it
But I know it doesn’t
But your memory does
And I use your memory as my life support
I miss you Grandpa
I love you Grandpa
I wish I told you that more often when you were still here
A Broken Poet Jun 2018
I see him in class, Monday through Friday
We talk, not in person of coarse
Maybe it’s for the best
I’m only in High School

We see each other in the hall
A smile is all we give
A small unnoticeable smile that you only see if you’re looking
Maybe it’s for the best
I’m only in High School

He glances at me
I see it out of the corner of my eye
That’s all we get
Maybe it’s for the best
I’m only in High School

I like him a lot
He makes my heart skip a beat
He likes me
Maybe that’s not for the best
I’m only in High School

I’m in High school
This is fact
I like him
He likes me
Why?
I’m only in High School

People say this is the time to live
I say this is the time to love
Maybe I’m wrong
I’m only in High School
A Broken Poet Feb 2020
If my heart was a book
it'd be burnt around the edges
It'd have a knife through the cover
It'd be damaged beyond repair
but if you take the time and look beyond the hurt
You will find words of love and bravery
You will see how I became my own knight in shining armor
You will see my scars and bruises
You will see the hate that I have seen
You will see the thousands of time I have thought about leaving the book in the street
And through it all, you will wonder
"How are you able to smile?"
A Broken Poet Jun 2018
One action can take it away
And then it’s gone forever
Do not take this lightly
Because when it’s gone, you will never have it again
A Broken Poet Oct 2018
You look around the room
But you look right through me
As if i’m not even there

I’m not even there to you
To you, only the pretty ones are there
To you, only the skinny ones are there

I will never be there to you
But I will always be there for you

But it’s not good enough
Never good enough
A Broken Poet Sep 2019
With tears in her eyes
She walks down the hallway
Music in her ears to drown out the demons

But it’s not enough
She can hear their laughter
They laugh at the damage
The damage they caused her heart

Their cackles are deafening
She can’t hear the music anymore
Only their laughs

She misses her friends
But her friends forgot about her
She is isolated again

Was this her doing?
She can’t tell anymore
She doesn’t know what to think

She misses her old life
She misses being a child
Or maybe she still is just a child
But now a very broken child

How does one fix a child?
Hey y'all, gotta say it's good to be back
Love you all
                  -A Broken Poet
A Broken Poet Nov 2018
Everyone leaves
Whether by choice or necessity
Everyone ends up leaving

First, it was my father
He left for drugs
He burnt the strings connecting us with the same lighter that he used to smoke the drugs
He ruined a nine-year-old’s trust
What a young age to stop trusting people

Then it was my grandfather
January 12th will be a date forever burnt in the back of my mind
The day my world came crashing down
I lost my absolute best friend
The worst day of my life

Who will be next I wonder
Who will leave
Who will get sick of me?
A Broken Poet Mar 2019
They know only what I tell them
They know only what they want to hear
They ask, I lie
They say, I lie
They agree, I lie

I have always been like this
But I don’t understand why
Why do I lie?

Will I always be a liar?
Not if I can help it
But what if I can’t

I lie to hide

But wait…
That’s a lie
A Broken Poet Nov 2019
I lose myself in love
I lose myself in the blade in my wrist
I lose myself in the nicotine
I lose myself in the alcohol

But for once
Just once
I want to
                f
                    i
                        n
                             d
myself
A Broken Poet Sep 2019
The same song played 100 times gets old
The same dance danced 100 times gets boring

Yet somehow my mind never gets tired of tormenting me
A Broken Poet Sep 2019
You said I was safe with you
But you lied.
Just like the rest of them
A Broken Poet Feb 2020
I have lost my words
I have lost my voice

The moment you stopped caring is the moment I started writing
You made me a poet
because you made me broken

The moment I stopped caring is the moment I stopped writing
I have nothing to write about now

What is a poet without any words?
A Broken Poet Feb 2020
I walk this road
Feeling so alone
But why, when I look up are you right next to me?

We walk hand in hand
But I don't feel your touch
You wipe away my tears
And you listen to my screams
But what am I screaming about?

My life is pretty good
but my mind is a battlefield that has left me on the ground near death
I watch the people around me and wonder...
What would they think of me if they saw the inside of my malicious mind?
A Broken Poet Sep 2019
I want what every girl wants
Love that consumes me
Love that devours me

But I want what only I want
I want you
I want you to want me

— The End —