I remember the nights I drowned in the drink,
Trying to blur every heartache, each thought I could think,
I fed on the pain, let it fill every space,
While the weight of my losses carved lines on my face.

Love tested me deeply, cut raw and unkind,
Betrayals and heartbreaks replayed in my mind,
Loyal and anchored, I gave all my heart,
But the echoes of leaving tore me apart.

I buried the hurt in bottles and meals,
Numbed out the sorrow so nothing felt real,
A heavy fog settled, depression’s dark shroud,
I lost who I was in a storm-bearing cloud.

But somewhere within, a whisper began,
A call from the depths, a hint of a plan,
A promise that maybe, though battered and worn,
My heart, like the dawn, could again be reborn.

So I rose, step by step, through the weight and the grief,
Through nights where each breath was a fight for belief,
I let out the tears, let old wounds finally bleed,
And started to nourish the love I might need.

I learned how to heal from the shadows that clung,
Where the past tried to claim me, I fought, I held strong,
No drink could define me, no loss be my grave,
I chose to be gentle, chose me to save.

Now I stand on the edge, the horizon is clear,
A heart that once shattered now beats fierce and sincere,
Through the trials of love, through the weight and the fall,
I rise ever stronger, still brave through it all.

I tell myself, Not now, but soon,
As hours slip by and day turns to moon,
Each task a shadow, a whisper, a weight,
Pushed to the future, left for fate.

The list grows longer, a towering spire,
Each undone deed fuels the fire,
A creeping pressure, a heavy chain,
The echoes of time call out my name.

One more scroll, I plead, I stall,
As unfinished work begins to sprawl,
The walls close in, the air turns tight,
Procrastination steals my fight.

I see the path I should have tread,
The steps unwalked, the words unsaid,
Yet here I sit, in stillness bound,
With every choice, I lose more ground.

The weight of delay becomes my cage,
A storm of regret, a quiet rage,
Trapped in a cycle, I fight to break free,
But the grip of avoidance clings to me.

Still, I rise with a trembling start,
A small rebellion, a beating heart,
One task, one step, one fleeting win,
A crack of light lets hope begin.

For though the mountain looms ahead,
And doubts still whisper in my head,
Each effort, no matter how slight or small,
Chips at the fortress, crumbles the wall.

Procrastination, you won’t define,
The rhythm, the purpose, the life that’s mine,
I’ll fight your hold, though the battle is long,
With steady resolve, I’ll grow strong.

You stepped into my life, quiet and new,
A spark unexpected, a flame in the blue,
But with every word, a riddle unfolds,
Do you mean what you say, or hide truths untold?

I watch for the signs, the nuance, the shade,
In a maze of intentions where trust is unmade,
Your presence feels warm, yet shadows creep near,
Is this something to cherish, or something to fear?

I fear the rhythm we’ve started to find,
The comfort that settles, entwining my mind,
For the closer you come, the deeper you stay,
The more I will dread the chance you’ll drift away.

Should I guard my heart, keep it behind walls?
Or let it be open, risk all it entails?
Each moment with you feels tender, unsure,
A beauty so fleeting, but will it endure?

You say all the right things, or so it may seem,
But I wonder if I’m just caught in a dream,
Do you feel this connection, or let it pass by?
Am I holding your hand, or chasing the sky?

Still, here I remain, in this fragile embrace,
Wrestling with time, the unknown I face,
Hoping the threads that bind us won’t break,
Praying this isn’t a fleeting mistake.

For while I don’t know how long you’ll remain,
I cherish each moment through joy and through pain,
And though I may lose you, I’ll never forget—
The beauty of risking, with love, no regret.

My chest is a drum, relentless and wild,
A furious rhythm, untamed, unstyled,
Each beat pounds harder, faster, loud,
Trapped in this storm, beneath its shroud.

I search for the cause, but answers evade,
Is it the stress from the choices I’ve made?
The work that piles, the dreams deferred,
Or unspoken fears, those thoughts unheard?

Affairs of the heart tug me both ways,
Promises tangled in shadowed haze,
Is it love that quickens this torrid pace,
Or fear of losing a fleeting embrace?

The future looms, uncertain, unclear,
Its whispers feed my quietest fears,
Am I walking a path that’s truly my own,
Or chasing shadows, endlessly thrown?

The coffee surges, a bitter ally,
Fuel for the sleepless nights gone awry,
Yet every sip brings a sharper sting,
Winding the gears, tightening the spring.

And then there are voices, harsh and unkind,
The toxic echoes that clutter my mind,
Their pressure a weight I can’t displace,
Adding to this frantic race.

I clutch my chest, will it to slow,
But the current runs deeper than I can know,
No breath can calm this raging tide,
No place to run, nowhere to hide.

Yet still, I seek the silence within,
A flicker of peace, where healing begins,
Though the source eludes, the fight is mine,
To reclaim this heart, to steady its time.

One breath, one moment, one step away,
From the tempest that grips me, this disarray,
I’ll find the stillness, I’ll break this chain,
And bring my heart back home again.

I’ve climbed the peaks of my ambitions,
Gathered medals, built traditions,
Each step forward marked with pride,
Yet something stirs, unfulfilled inside.

The paths I’ve walked, they glimmered gold,
Stories of growth and journeys bold,
But as I stand and take a view,
I wonder—was this path mine to pursue?

The roads ahead stretch vast, unknown,
Some feel foreign, some feel home,
Yet none whisper, This is the way,
They tease the question I ask each day.

Am I the architect of my dreams?
Or just a player in someone’s scheme?
I’ve built, I’ve grown, I’ve reached, I’ve tried,
Yet the spark of purpose hides inside.

Success is hollow when roots aren’t deep,
And growth feels shallow when dreams don’t keep,
But in this fog, a truth unfolds:
The answers lie in the soul I hold.

So I’ll pause the rush, the endless chase,
Sit with myself in this still, quiet space,
Listen to whispers of passion’s fire,
To rediscover what I truly desire.

For purpose isn’t in paths pre-paved,
It’s carved where courage meets hearts unscathed,
And though I wander, uncertain, unclear,
I trust the compass I hold right here.

I may not know which way to steer,
But each step forward conquers fear,
And in the journey, I’ll find my part—
For purpose is born from the seeking heart.

The clock blinks cruelly, its glow so stark,
Another sleepless night in the aching dark,
I tried to escape, to drown the weight,
But found myself at regret’s cold gate.

The pressure pressed hard, a relentless tide,
I sought relief where shadows hide,
But the choices I made were fleeting, unwise,
Now I face their echoes with tear-stung eyes.

How could I falter? How could I fall?
I swore to stand stronger, to conquer it all,
Yet here I lie, with shame my chain,
A heart heavy with self-made pain.

Idiot, I whisper, my voice low and raw,
As if naming my flaws could change what I saw,
But the past, unyielding, cannot be unwritten,
Its lessons harsh, its truths unforgiven.

Still, beneath this crushing regret,
A faint ember of hope refuses to set,
For though I stumbled, though I bled,
I’m not defined by the mistakes I’ve bred.

The pain I feel is proof I care,
A signal to rise, to mend, repair,
Each dawn brings a chance to start anew,
To rebuild the path where my truth shines through.

So I’ll gather the pieces, though jagged and sharp,
And craft a new melody from this broken harp,
For while I’m flawed, I’m not my mistakes—
A heart can heal, even as it aches.