The moment you left,
oceans refused to stay still
with violent tides.
I begged you to come back
but trees screamed at me
with outraged sways.
I begged you to recall the good times
but instead grounds quaked
when I said your name.

Was I such a disastrous soul?
I know I stumbled a few times,
but must you destroy the whole world
to run from my faults?

Because now,
I am alone.
The waters only quiver.
The leaves barely tremble.
You broke the world because
the Earth stands still without
our deafening
existence.

He realized
the fear of losing her,
based on
constant insecurity
terrified him.
Don't ever fall in love, my dear.

If we'd lived like normal people-
All of this could have been avoided.
But we didn't.
We were nuts and desperate.
We couldn't help but create this
nothingness that drove us completely crazy,
sad,
empty.
Still, no one's desperation came close
to matching mine.
They all seemed to be able to go back to their lives.
They got scuffed up and they got on with it,
Only I seemed to be left behind,
crying and screaming,
wanting some satisfaction,
wanting to feel something.
I always sought solace in places
where I know, absolutely,
that it did not exist.

Is this what insanity feels like?

I was a threat to your happiness,
always have been.
But now, my mistakes have
caught up with me.
What's wrong with you?
How can you do this to me?
you cried.
I choked.
You deserved a reason.
You deserved a million apologies.
But all I could say was,
Please don't leave me.
Please don't go.
You walked away for the last time.
I felt dark
and grey
and dead,
barely breathing.

I need help.
I am falling on broken glass.
I am collapsing on myself.
I am shards of glass.
I am killing myself.

Though somehow,
I continue to hold on
for dear life.

Shaking and crying uncontrollably,
I'm so dreadful right now.
Anything is more appealing
than sitting with me
in this state.
You sigh and pull me in close.
Just breathe
you whisper.
You've gotten through this before.
And you're right.
This demon has been with me
for years.
How the hell do I get rid of it?

You're tired of taking care of me,
I know.
But I'm afraid you'll leave.
Please don't leave me alone
with myself,
with this monster.
I'm terrified of what it will
make me do when you walk
out the door.

But you do anyways.