I don't know what's
more difficult-
trying to
quit smoking
or
learning to love
myself.

e
l
a
p
s
e

a
f
t
e
r

r
e
l
a
p
s
e
.

God
strained
to hear her
but gave up
when he realized
the whispered prayers
were mine.

My eyes are glued to the door,
waiting and praying
for you to show up,
hollering
"April Fools!"
And yet the doorway stays as
empty
as I have felt for months now.

His unfocused gaze
at the commercial on television
hardened yet again.
I watch his grip
tighten on the remote,
his knuckles turning
white.
"When will things go back
to the way they were?" he growls.
He wasn't talking about
the commercials.
I turn away
and
blankly stare at
the television too,
wondering the
same
****
thing.

oh
my darling
girl,
you're my
rose colored
world.

Thick smoke lingers between us,
always being tiptoed around,
but never spoken about directly.
Never dare to speak the truth,
just pretend it's not there.
Day in and day out-
Billowing clouds float
from your eyes
into my pores,
seeping slowly,
dragging me down
with every glare.
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but shouldn't you be used to it by now?