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 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
Xan Abyss
My Attitude
most certainly
Dictates my reality
Just not your
"One-Size-Fits-All"
Personality
Some people hate dancing
And that's really OKAY.
Some people aren't readers,
Some could read all day.
Some of us don't like nightclubs or loud music
Some of us hear the beat drop
and Lose It.
You can be anybody of your own choosing,
You could be serious, aloof or amusing.
You could be social
a butterfly on fire
Or you could find your peace
in the quiet.
It doesn't matter which person you are
Because no matter what
it's a PERSON you are.
Not a machine, a computer or a doll -
And I never say never,
But please,
Never ever,
Let anyone tell you about your own soul.
And I never say never,
But please, never ever
let somebody tell you
"One Size Fits All"

Because whoever they are,
They're wrong.
Be yourself, and own that ****.
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
Xan Abyss
The world is cruel and unjust, so much so
that men like Don Quixote escape into
The realm of fantasy, where giants roam
And Dragons breathe
Avoiding Reality
With an Artful Mastery
Because the world is cruel and unjust, so cold
and Unforgiving of your broken heart
or weary soul

And I spent my whole life wandering
The Wasteland of Civilization
Until the day I discovered you
And came to the realization-
I am Above
the ugliness of man
I am Beyond
The fire in my glands
the need to connect and
for someone to understand
the sickness inherent
in my emotions.

Because now - I found you
A Warrior's Work of Art
I feel your magic all around me
my Armor of the Heart
We started out in jest - but soon
We bled into each other
And you became my Guardian Angel
as I became your lover

No Fall from Grace,
Disdainful Face,
or Glare of Hate
that I may take
Today,
Will shake me
from my resting place,
Where we exist
in Peace.

You strengthen me within
And now there's no room to get in
For anybody other than
You, my goddess of sin

For, though I've suffered the slings and arrows
of pain
and ridden with Kings and Heroes
in Vain
Across Battlefields of Love and Hate
I remain
Shielded by your Grace
No matter the Time or Place.

The Screaming outside my window
in the Dark
is no longer inviting
the way it was before
deep inside me, I feel a change come forth
The Mysteries
infinitely howl at my door
But my desire to join them is no more
The Mysteries that captured me
And stole me into the dark
Are now Uninteresting
and Withering
before my Armor of the Heart.
An ode to someone who saved me.
I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

She covers me like a blanket
I can feel the warmth of her love
In my secret places
Its dark inside
And I'm afraid
But she is with me
Holding me
And I am safe.

When she leaves
My soul aches for her embrace
I hunger for her touch
I want to disappear
To leave her as she left me
But her lethal love injections
Are all that I know
And I am weak
And I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

My lover wants me dead
But I have given her my heart
Sealed our love with a kiss
Till death do us part.
I just picked up nine months sober and that chip is weighing heavy in my pocket.
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
WickedHope
You left me easily,
Why won't you leave my memory?
That song...
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
WickedHope
listen
hugs
air hockey
books
woods
astronomy
driving
music
tv show marathon
poetry
cuddling
waking up
real
Can today be a good day?
(Not really a poem.)
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
cmy
---
I thought of you when there are doughnuts
and happy chatter all around
Your laughter makes me want to smile
and laugh freely at everyone
Dedicated to Emi, my housemate and most of all a friend.
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
emisahida
Things don't come easily like we expected to be
because we don't simply take it as easy as ABC
Things exist in a blink of eyes
cold like an ice shrink until it lost in disguise
It happens to be so nice
just in time I realize I cry
When it doesn't last
and gone fast like dust.
 Oct 2014 Tina Marie
Athea
My friend is drowning
Drowning from the inside out in her own sorrow
She splits her skin to let the sorrow flow out of her so for a second
She can breathe
On those days when she can pull herself out of the sorrow all she can feel are rain drops on her beautifully soft hair from her constant rainy day
She believes I’m on the beach livin’ it up
With a Corona in my hand
And lazily holding a hand out for her;
The rain and sorrow has blurred her vision
Because I am in the water with her
Trying to pull her out
But sorrow is a sea monster
Yanking her down deeper and deeper
Into the darkness of her own mind
Where friends equal enemies and parents equal not understanding and they all equal non existent
She closes herself off until the world becomes nothing but darkness filled with predators
When those days come,
I want to be her beacon of light
Like a light house I will stand strong searching the oceans for her
I want her to know when the rainy days come
I will be there
Soaked from head to toe
For as long as she needs me
For as long she wants me
I want her to know that when the clouds wish away
And the sun peaks out
Shining on her beautiful skin
Reflecting in her gorgeous green eyes
That I will turn to her and smile a big Cheshire smile
And I’ll say I love you
And I will never leave you alone on a rainy day
Because we both know rainy days are no fun
Especially when you’re alone.
dedicated to my friend who is struggling with depression - i love you so much and im not going anywhere
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