I miss looking into the eyes of my mother.
I miss looking into the eyes of my father.
I miss looking into the eyes of a person who is,
loving,
compassionate,
and faithful.

I miss having a reason to be alive.
I miss having a reason to wake up.
I miss having a reason to be the person I want to be,
loving,
compassionate,
and faithful.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul.
Can this be true if the eyes belong to someone without,
a soul?
Can this be true if the eyes belong to someone who is not,
loving,
compassionate,
and faithful?

I don't understand why we cry.
I don't understand why we sleep.
I don't understand why we love.
But maybe,
just maybe,
it is all the same thing.

I hope we cry because we are,
loving,
compassionate,
and faithful.

I hope we sleep because we need rest from,
loving,
hold compassion,
and are faithful.

I hope we love because that is what it is,
to be human.

My worst fear is that,
we love because we are asleep.
I miss being awake.

I looked into the eyes of a crying child.
I saw a longing look within this child's eyes.
This is the look of the world when,
all is lost.

I looked into the eyes of a crying woman.
I saw a soul fading into darkness.
This is the look of the world when,
hope is lost.

I looked into the eyes of a crying god.
I saw a master losing hope for this god's creation.
This is the look of a parent,
when their child dies.

I wish for a world where,
nothing is lost,
and nothing ever dies.

I wish for an existence where,
we can look into each other's eyes,
and we can lean in to a hug.
And instead of sobbing to ourselves alone in our bedroom,
we can sob into the shoulder's of one another.

As the sun slowly fell,
I looked upon the world.
I saw destruction,
and I saw chaos.

As anarchy rose,
I looked upon myself.
I saw self-doubt,
and I saw weakness.

As the dying light of day decayed,
I looked deeper into that chaos and anarchy.
I saw strength,
and I saw power.

This power come from within,
but not within individuals.
Instead it came from within,
the world.

The same world that stood by and,
watched the aches,
and watched the pains of others.
The same world that helped the aches,
and helped the pains of everyone.

We stand strong in the midst of chaos.
We stand strong in a losing battle.
We stand strong in the wake of a riptide.
We stand strong in the dying,
of the light.

Together we stand,
together we fall.

Like a lost soul on a train to nowhere.
That’s how I feel.
Without cause, however never lacking consequence.
Punishment without reason.
And reward being nonexistant.
I feel forgotten as a soul does when it has miniscule effect on reality.

I wish it were without pain.
I wish it was just fantasy.
But it's not.

I wish I could say that everything's gonna be alright.
I wish I could give that comfort.
But it's not.

Time is unraveling and there is nothing you can do about it.
You can ignore every stressor in your life,
but time moves on.

Whether you decide that you want to spend every minute of your day,
alone,
in your room.
It doesn't matter.
Because Either way,
time unravels the same.

As the sun rises in the east,
the sky fills with light.
Faded yellows absorb the dark hues of the night.
Gone are the blues and purples of darkness.

As the normal person wakes,
they make breakfast.
As I wake,
I ponder my own being.

Am I good enough?
The age old question that has been asked since the dawn of man.
I know the question will never be fully answered.
And I know I will have to live with the ugly truth,
I am not good enough.

As the sun grows higher into the sky,
your life long companion,
your shadow,
disappears.

The normal person is making breakfast,
but I am instead still forcing myself to sleep.
I cannot bear waking up.
I shove my feelings down my throat and force my dreams to appear.

I dream of a time when humanity was defined,
not by what they said on the internet,
but by what they did to help there friends.

I dream of a time when humanity had morals,
had beliefs,
but most importantly,
had love.

The sun begins to set in the west.
The bright colors of day begin to fade into the dark hues of night once more.
This amazing deep orange comes through the clouds in the distance.

The normal person is having dinner,
but instead I am looking out of the window in my bedroom,
which I haven't left in three days.
My heart and mind ache with thought.

My body feels like a waste of space.
It feels like god is taking his finger and pressing down on me.
I feel confined.
I feel detained.
I feel,
drained.

The sun falls back behind the houses in the distance.
Every scrap of light falls into darkness.
Nothing is left of the world.
Everything is consumed by this elusive creature represented by the lack of light.

The normal person is kissing their loved ones goodnight,
but I,
am alone.

I am weightless.
There is no up, no down.

My thoughts are free,
they are evolving and dissolving and revolving around other oxymoronic ideas.

My body is trapped,
it is confined, asinine, and constantly refined to what I believe,
or what I enjoy.

Why is it that every human on this Earth has to be stereotyped?
I want a world where we first ask someone how their day is going,
before texting the first person on their phone that the other person is a ****.