God, it feels like lately all I've done is question your ability to put my life on the straight and narrow, to make all bad things good and pure again, and with justification. I feel as if I've suffered day in and day out for things that are beyond my control and completely with your capabilities to mend.

You "gifted" me with an illness that eats away at my insides, that tears at my already faltering soul that is hardly strong enough to fight back. I am pained every day with the fear of isolation and rejection if anyone were to ever know my true self. Some days I just feel that Hell can't be any worse than this.

All I ask, all I've ever asked, is that you help me understand why I must suffer in such an unbearable way and why I must be the only one to know what it's like, why I must be alone in this. Because, God, I swear sometimes I feel that you have no idea what it's like to be me and to feel the hate that you've given me because I must hide the one thing you find so beautiful in me from the rest of the world.

Rebel Against Rebellion
I have nothing to prove
No creeds, no doctrine to upkeep
We all have so much freedom when we close our eyes
And just think
Maybe you need to humble yourself enough
To lose
Rebel Against Rebellion
Because they're all just books
Your sword is looking pretty dull sir
Why are you so inclined to hurt?
Thought your prophet preached LOVE?
So repeat words
Choose what you choose
Choose wisely
Because soon the snake will stop his hissing
Constrict
And become your noose
Rebel Against Rebellion
I think I'll call your bluff
I bleed, I sin, I'll die
But I'm not feeling hot standing here
So tell me again why I should be afraid
Of my fleet mortal life?
Rebel Against Rebellion
Because a Sheppard leads a flock
But you never followed
Your a goat
Caught in your lies
Bureaucracy, Democracy
Man it's all a joke
A silly excuse
Rules, the sacrum of man's brain
Your doctrine is becoming lame
And your beliefs more insane
Coliseum
A game to play to make you so entertained
Please write another rule
Prove once again
The medium you choose is jewels
You fool
Rebel Against Rebellion
Why would I cut my brother short?
Because of appearance and all your silly rules
So many when uttered I choke
For all we know life itself a joke

Oh the irony
What began as unity
Became bowing down
To man's hierarchy
So I Rebel Against Rebellion
I'm a servant of no man
I know God has a plan
That over cries your silly fear
Unravels your vines
Your words
Agenda and
"Time"

1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us and hath given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.
3 But fornication and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.
4 Neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
6 Let no man deceive you with vain words; for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord; walk as children of light;
9 For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;
10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord,
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Isaiah 52:14 As many were astonied at Thee His visage was marred more than any man, and His form more than the sons of men.

Isaiah 53:2 For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant and as a root out of dry ground; He hath no form nor comeliness and when we shall see Him there is no beauty that we should desire Him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, and we hid as it were our faces from Him; He was despised and we esteemed Him not.
4 Surely He hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way and the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before his shearers is dumb so He opened not His mouth.

Sometimes the best way to receive a blessing is to give one away.
Its ironic but Christ said the greatest person is not the one sitting.
But the one that is serving others, its not like the worldly perceive.
The same can be said for wanting hope then allow Christ to use you.
For we know very well that Christ is our Hope and Salvation.
For only through him can we obtain either one of these blessings.
So if you want a life fulfilling, then help others obtain it first.
By doing this then your life will be fulfilling to you and others.

Isn't it ironic how one can feel so lonely in a crowd of people?