You were my world
I revolved around you like crazy.  Bringing you waves and a beautiful thing in your sky.  
But you didn't like my waves
Or the way I looked in your sky
So I drifted away.  I didn't have to revolve around you.  I chose you.  
And I can take it away.

Was it all fake?
Every hug,
Every kiss,
Every I love you,
Every I miss you?

Was it all fake?
Cause throwing me to the side made it feel like it.
Cause you **** don't miss me.
I guess it was all fake
And I can't help but cry about it.

The fire stages of grief or in my case.  The five stages of a messed up relationship.  
Denial:
- He is just honest.  He didn't mean it that way.  He wants the best for me.  I am pretty stupid sometimes.  
Anger:
- How can he tell me to live my life?  I deserve better.  I am not a toy.  I am going to break up with him!  
Bargaining:
- I can just delete the message.  Maybe if I just tell him again how I feel it will go back to normal.  Maybe he was just playing....  
Depression:  
- Oh god,  It is really over between us...  What did I do?  I need him!  All my friends will hate me now because they liked us together.  What if he stalks me?  
Acceptance:  
- I am better off.  I deserve to be happy,  I am happy.  It wouldn't have worked out between us but we are both happier now.  Friends or not friends.  No matter what my feelings matter and they weren't getting respected so I have to put myself first and I am proud of that.  I am proud of my choices.

I took the leap into the unknown not knowing where it went.  
I am hurt and I am lost
But I am hoping someone will catch me
Or at least there will be water.

At some point tears turn into anger
And I am sick and tired of crying and crying

Hair has to be past the shoulders.
No bangs
No makeup
Hair straight and always down
Cant talk this way.
Cant hold hands this certain way
Cant walk on a certain side of them.

He wants everything about me a certain way.

I laugh to much
I laugh too loud
I am indecisive
I say stupid things
When I talk I say certain words too much

It is like he wants me
                                      to be
                                               someone
                                                                else.
What am I too you?
A play thing?
Your toy?
Someone just to waste time with and give you affection?

What am I too you?
Cause it doesn't feel like your girlfriend.

I remember when I was young
And I thought people never died.  
No one died.  
I lived in a little world all on my own.  
But then little by little my family died off
My dad
My grandma
My aunt
Everyone died.
And I accepted that as what is too become
Pets die and so do we.  
It is hard to accept death unless you live in it.  
I live and thrive in the death that surrounds my life.  
I sometimes wonder why I am still even alive.