I remember when I was young
And I thought people never died.  
No one died.  
I lived in a little world all on my own.  
But then little by little my family died off
My dad
My grandma
My aunt
Everyone died.
And I accepted that as what is too become
Pets die and so do we.  
It is hard to accept death unless you live in it.  
I live and thrive in the death that surrounds my life.  
I sometimes wonder why I am still even alive.

We are just an inch apart
But lately it has felt like we are miles
I don't know what to do
I still love you
But our moments only seem to revolve around what you want to do.
It is weird how fine I am, being your moon.

Spit on my face from your poison lips.  
Yelling names I could never repeat.  
Curses and foulness fills the air.  
All I wanted was love.  
Appreciation.  
Someone to look up too.  
All I got was a drunk stuck on drugs  
Screaming and falling into my life.  
But even after all these years
And what you did to me
I still love a little part of you.  
I just wish you loved me too.  
Dad.  
Sincerely,  
The *****

Throw me to the side
Cancel everything we had planned
Don't talk to me for days
Never say you love me.
But here I am
Still attached to you
Still loving you
When you haven't been here for me
For years it seems
Cancel me.

I shot you into my veins hard and fast.
Addiction was easy when I was willing
Loved the taste of you after each hit
But now I can't have you.
I am craving
Withdrawal hurts without you in my veins
Just waiting for another hit
Cause I am always willing

I wonder what dying feels like.  
Right after the pain is it quiet?  
Will it stop me from hating myself?  
Is it a fresh start?  
I just wish I could have the strength to jump.  
Instead I just walk around.  
Hating who I am
And hoping for a better day that may never come.

What did I do?
What did I say?  
Why are you so heartless?
How did I upset you?  
Why don't you care?