I had a night I had a day
I did one million stupid things
I said one billion foolish things
I'm not okay, I got a baseball bat beside my bed
To fight off what's inside my head
To fight off what's behind my meds
I'm lonely, lost in pain

"If you're so good with words, then be a writer"
They said
"It'll be a good release for you"
They said
Sure, it's all fun and games until you actually crack open your chest and pour out whats inside on white pages, now stained forever with the black ink of the cruelty of one's own mind.

Often I am upset that I have fall in love because then I have the stress of falling out of it.
I wish that I could see a sign that'd it'll all be okay but for now I'll try to do it anyway
I know things will be alright but I also know that it's always gonna be a fight.
I can make a change here but I'm also aware that the unknown can create a little fear
Lately I've been so tired of being pulled around but I know that to this life I am sorely bound.

To take this or to take that
To decide can be a fast track
To the better or the worse
To a blessing or to a curse
Which decision do I make?
How to know which path to take?

I trusted you and you wrecked
my dignity and respect
and now you just expect
me to forgive you
I'm not ready to be friends
We kinda skipped that step
and now I'm not sure I wanna go back
But you broke my heart
and that's just a start
of why I can't stand the sight of you
My secrets aren't safe with you
so how can you expect me to
Feel like we can ever be friends?

Often i am upset
That i cannot fall in love
But i guess
This avoids the stress of falling out of it
Are you tired of me yet?
I'm a little sick right now but i swear
When i'm ready i will fly us out of here

I guess I'll go make a cup of tea
Because sometimes it feels like
You have time for all of them, but not for me