We met through proximity,
but didn't use that to convene.
We learned so much about each other through a screen,
But we've let each other truly be seen.

With our many shared interests,
and our vastly different pasts,
help us clearly see our paths.

How enchanting this has all been,
to now call you a friend.

You ask me "will I go."
I always say "no."
You ask "why stay at home?"
I always say "I want to be alone."
You say "why not come?"
I always say "my day is done."
You ask "don't you ever want to get out?"
I say "how clearly must I speak and shout?"

Once you've left,
how I wished I'd come.
I just couldn't leave my sadness behind and be done.
My loneliness wouldn't let me
speak out and shout "I want to get out, let my day still dawn,
please let me come and be free."

These things were always said
but only in my head.

in my dreams, i was a ghost in my own haunting

in life, i was wandering in your garden of denial

I don't want to go.
I don't want the seams of our love,

to be lost in the fray.

I want to stay draped in it.
a cloak from the winds,

that are sweeping this planet.

I want to stay dry,
from the rains that follow me home,

to my doorstep.

I need to keep this sacred,
not misplace it,
into stray hands.

or from those,
who wander & poach beauty,
from this world.

No one seems to see,
you & i
that we've been cut,

from the same cloth.

Cleaning away the earth's last stains.
I feel your warm blood still in your veins.
A close cousin weeps at these new remains.
I feel sorrow now well in my heart.
I know you can't stay forever on this plane.
What a difference, one minute can change.
In one, a heart beats, the next, one is broken.

I look at a photo of you,
I want the smile you wear to envelop me,
I want the softness you have to hold me,
I want the eyes that look into the camera,
to look at me with that same mutual knowing.
I want to know who was on your thoughts at that moment,
Who was the one who had made you feel that way,
With such a brightness it lightens my day.

Waters soft sound

parting the air,
  
   Sand moving over

my skin,

    Your hand

parting mine."

Running to catch an unraveling sphere,
Always running,
Running after my leaving siblings,
I trail in their laughter
As it rains on me,
me,
so easily left behind,
Everyone waits with a blank face around me,
Till they know nothing worthy will follow,
I follow,
They laugh at
the joke with no punchline.

I will stand at the chair in front of my father's empty desk.
The one place I know,
that he truly wants to be at in this house.
I wish I could garner the attention he wants to embed to these inanimate objects.
I stare at them,
wondering how to become that important.
Maybe it's something that comes with age.

My family is always so capable,
I can't even skip a stone on still water,
How pathetic.
So easy
they make it seem.

I am always waiting to be their age,
To finally matter,
I wait,
In total wonder of their capabilities,
I'll never be fast enough to catch up in age.
Forever waiting behind.

The baseball falls in the grass, the red stitching coming undone.
My father pleased that we're together, playing ball.
Not an interest of mine,
just the generic thing a father does with a son.
So obvious,
that he wants to be back in that empty chair.

When we first met,
I didn't see you.
I was blind,
But you clearly saw.
Next time we met,
There was a spark and draw,
But my eyes were still adjusting and raw.

You knew the terrain,
But I was the one who refrained.
You acted like it was play,
But I was your prey.

The damages were done,
as we became one.
What I saw as communion and real,
Was just your nutrition and meal.

"They plan a war for peace,

We get to pickup,

The lost youth left in pieces."