I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.
                                                              
No matter how many times I wipe your tears away
Or tell you how beautiful you are.
                                                                
You have to want to hear it and stop crying.

No matter how much I try make you smile
Or hug you close.

You have to want to smile and embrace me back.

No matter how much I wish I could save you.

The only person that can do that is you...

you are colder than my heart at 3am
you are an enemy amongst a sea of friends
I loved you so much I began to hate everything you are
everything you say , every breath you take I regret the world giving
you any air to breathe , you are empty , you are the darkest kind of dark
do you see what you've become?
are you proud of who you are?
pointing fingers , presuming that what we've been through isn't as important as you
you're wallowing in your own self pity , someday you might drown in it.
you don't deserve an opinion if all you see is yourself.
you used to sing the words "you know I COULD USE SOMEBODY"
and I know that more than anyone because you used me.
you are the lowest type of low and you don't see it
you call me selfish everyday and when I die it'll still haunt my soul
the one thing Ive learned is
you cant care for anyone else because you don't know how to love
I still love you believe me , but I cant help but hate you more than that.

What if your pain relievers
Don't relieve my pain?
What if those true believers
Don't believe I'm sane?

What if the way they stereotype me
Isn't my stereotype at all?
What if just being me
Is what they see as my downfall?

What if the stories they tell you
Are never really the truth?
Would you stand up and confront them
Or let them bleed out you?

What if my suicide
Wasn't really suicide at all?
What if it was first degree ******
Premeditated; assumed.

What if your psychiatric meds
Don't "clarify" and "soothe".
What if they don't control me
And my will isn't under control?

What if America was free again
From drug scandals and abuse?
What if meds were actually prescribed
To people of dire use?
What if the living were given chance to live with mistakes instead of the dead?
What if we assumed the living
Were imperfect until death?

What if we did not assume
That my mood swings are chemical?
That maybe I, one too many times,
Had encountered something to cause them?

Mommy said if he's mean it's because he likes you.
She said boys are backwards and upside down.
She said boys are young dumb and fullofcum.
She said close your eyes when you fall so you don't see how much it's going to hurt.

I still have bruises, she said.

Its hard to bare your reflection when your disturbed by the image it makes. As you stare into the mirror, your faced to deal with your mistakes.

The truth of the matter is you can lie to the world, and live the life of an actor. You can portray yourself in many ways, but when you look in the mirror, you view the truth that you cant escape.

Your just a pawn playing social chess just to be accepted, by interested impressionist. I stray far away and ignore getting ****** in, to associating with manican's  that pretend to be your friends.

The social ladder is filled with actors, lies, and insecurities. So I judge alone by actions shown, and only trust my certainties.

Most people base their judgements by your appearance and your current status. I guess my designs unique, I base my judgements by your actions.

I stay true to myself, I'm not eager to be accepted. I view my friends as family and I'm willing to die for my investments.

For all the time that I've invested, I  would give my life to provide protection. Because quality over quantity, is the "ONLY" acceptable method of friendship!