The pillow's edge
Ornamented with an ant
Its siblings crawling on the pipe underneath
This one's rebellious
Debating whether or not
to cross the border from my sock to my skin
Come on, Little Ant
What are you - Afraid?
The smells and the texture
as my leg hair sways
Come on, Little Ant
I'm doing nothing all day
Except to face my few fears
The wind wants to play
You know when a horse drags his front foot
And hangs his head a little, nudging into you
His horseshoe catching the dirt
as it drifts towards your face
Just like that
The wind wants to play
Come on, Little Ant
What are you - Afraid?
Of the taunting
And haunting
that lives in your brain
Come on, Little Ant
I'm doing nothing all day
But to burn in the relentless sun
And blow you away

I put my body on the sunlit bricks
One side down so my hip bone burns
She brought me a pillow for my elbow to pierce
Here
in the middle of the bricks
I read words she doesn't understands
I wonder how they sound to her
The page ends
"Stay where you are," she says
Here
in the sunlight
burning
I didn't move
I glance and see her phone in her hand
when she comes out again
I pretend that I'm still reading
I can hear her shutter click
She's come to take pictures of me
She answers her phone
"Hello"

No quiero oir el latido del corazon
Ayudame a escapar

Eso es el dia
en que no puedo parar de decirla
Muda
La digo como esa para que
no me puedes comprender
No importa
No importa en que idoma la digo
Tu no me vas a entender
Muda
Es la misma que el grito del viento
en mi pecho que me duele
cuando la luz me despierta
Muda
Como la furiosa y fuerte
pero futil
Nadie puede sentir
Eso es lo que ella me dice
La bruja me hace
Muda

Nothing
I scrambled for you
Begged the universe to hurry up
In the rare moment that I had something to say
There you were
Ready
Infested with distractions
Talk
And then
Nothing
Corked by the idea that maybe no one cares
Turned in the sea of words
Not good enough
Not big enough
Not likely to receive validation
Worthy?
How can you tell?
Garbage
I was going to tell you about your blindfold
But maybe it's folded too tightly
For me to jar your reality
False
Real
Who has the delusion?
Garbage
I scrambled for you
Why?

A whole entire human
A feeler of pain
A fighter of battles of the mind
A warrior
An owner of a heart, heartbeat, the kind you notice
A closeted non-binary
A mover, A dancer
A thinker of thoughts
A haver of things
A learner
An occupant of my home
A difference in someone's life
A feeler of emotions
A knower of truth
A heartbeat, a heart strain
that catches your attention
A chooser of paths
Incomplete

I took my body off the floor
I've never been this way before
I fold my heart into a cricket-shaped tattered paper plane
And my pumpkin spice quinoa
brings me back to life
in a world with orange monsters
in a world that wants me dead
And the sweet satisfying warmth
that I choose to feel instead
I took my body off the floor
I took your words out of my head
Maybe the smallest life is the greatest life
that you could ever have
I took my body off the floor
I've never been this way before
I never turned around
And put the ground back
underneath my feet