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  Sep 2017 Samantha Marie
Madilynn
When the man on the corner gives you looks
While you're walking home from school
You will learn to shrink into yourself.

When the boys at school talk about your body
As if you're not sitting right there
You will act as if you've disappeared,
And when you come back
You will no longer know the difference between a compliment
And another degrading word.

When the person you trusted most,
The one who was supposed to save you,
Took the definition of respect
And replaced it with a sense of paranoia,
And a fear of human touch.
You will forget who you are.

Shrink.
Shrink.
Shrink.
The silence will taste bad on your tongue
As will the laughter in their mouths.
Shrink.
Shrink.
Shrink.
Until you no longer have a body made for love
Instead hate.
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
Wake up
Pretend
Take a sleeping pill
Do it all over again
9/7/2017
Sleeping is nice
It keeps me from my thoughts
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
"Get over it"  . . .  Its not that easy
"Move on"  . . .  I've tried
"Let it go" . . . It is apart of me
"If it was me I would be happy"  . . . Impossible with my thoughts
"Think positive"  . . . I try everyday
"The past does not define you"  . . . It haunts me
"If you just think differently"  . . . If only my mind allows me to
Enlightening words from a friend who has never know depression
Whose mind is right
A friend who has no sickness holding them back from life
9/7/2017
Something sane people do not fathom
Those who do simply do not "get over it"
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
It is 3:27 A.M.
We just ended a three hour call
This was the first time hearing your voice in 6 months
You said my name like old times
Like we never ended
We talked effortlessly
But only about your wants and needs
That is what I've always been here for right
Your call was nothing more than an attempt for a late night hookup
But for me it was a slap to the face
The sound of your voice hit me like a ******* train
A repercussion of memories appeared stronger than ever
Does it bring you pleasure to trifle with my feelings
I tell myself to hate you
But you know more than anyone that will never happen
Because I am wrapped around your finger
Not knowing how to set myself free
9/5/17
I deleted your contact from my phone
but I recognize the last numbers
I had to take a couple breaths
Before I allowed myself to get tangled in your word
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
Sweat trickles down her forehead and down the back of her neck
His chest glistens with sweat accumulated over the past two hours
Hands grasping at his broad shoulders towering over her
Breaths have become shorter and moans have become longer
Legs dangled over the leather car seats
Thighs spread as far apart as they allow her
He bites her bottom lip mixing pain with pleasure
Their hot breaths fogging up the windows
Bodies harmonizing perfectly with each others movements
Till they have drained each others energy
He lays his head on her bare stomach
Dozing off to the sound of her breathing reducing to normal
Her hands run through his hair
She wondered how she allowed herself to enable this behavior
After all he was only supposed to give her a ride home from work
9/6/2017
The date was 4/23/17
You kissed me goodnight
Little did we both know it was also a kiss goodbye
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
"Do you miss me" he asked

"Define miss" . . . yes

"I miss you" he repeated

"You don't miss me your just bored" . . . I miss you too

"I'm serious I miss you, there's something about you I like"

"You want me to say I miss you and then what" . . . You know its hard for me to forget you

"Then we unmiss each other by you coming over"

. . .  you haven"t changed
Stop tormenting me
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
I detest your creation,
despise the thought of you,
loath your existence,
resent your continuous.
9/5/17
But you and I know that is the untruth
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