Im facing one of my greatest fears
My pleas are on deaf ears
People care less over the years
But still throw spears that stop my gears

I lay awake with my mind racing
Disappointment the only thing chasing
Can i keep up with the pain I’m facing

Wishing for help just leaves my eyes sore
Everywhere I look just a closed door
Paranoid about whats in store
Nothing more than an emotional war

I ask my self when do i start to grow old
An office block and a tie was what i was told
Exams and hard work was what i was sold
But living a life like that sounds too cold

Even now the outside is an unknown
In a sea of people where i feel alone
Is there something i must atone?
Is this just an empty moan?

a numb boys body in the end
barely living, couldn't contend
the misfortune he wanted amend
when all is gone can he ascend?

for the air is thick
and the world is sick
a melancholy wall built brick by brick

the boys name is tribulation
consummate by manipulation
everything but a simulation
but he waits for the last invitation

I stare into glass eyes with a saddening
lack of depth,
we are all contradictions to the idea
of a free spirit
how are we free without knowing
we are yet released from social borders
our natural state
man made

We inhale time
not smoke,
lines turn night
to day
stuck with the same kind of people
no room to grow
instead we bury ourselves
underground

collapsed.

My room,
Both a death camp and a safe zone,
Rather wither away,
Than face execution.

Open door,
Deep breath,
Failure.

Hand over my feelings,
back to bed,
laying there,
friends were a conspiracy.

Leaving this house a teenage floor of lava,
To the armory,
Wield headphones and an over grown coat.

Open door,
Deep breath,
Stand.

The sun hurt as if i just left a space ship,
Fear of both know and unknown,
On this planet I was the alien.

Open gate,
Deep breath,
Walk.

Pavements conveyor belts,
Pushing out ghouls of society,
Cubicle bound,
Grey walls.

Yet still asked why so scared,
Of what I wish was just in my head,
This earth,
The land of dead.

Alcohol, the artificial happiness
Seems cheaper than the real thing
Rooms spinning like depressing theme parks
Pavements became pillows

My mouth tastes like sour ash
The start of the night never existed
It always felt like it was about to end
But time became a fairy tale

Feeling indestructible to the world
But a victim to yourself
A Grenade that lost its pin
Weapons became bottled up.