Sometimes I wake and
remember you like a sunflower
remembers the sun on a stormy night.
Indeed, your sunlight blessed
the garden of my soul and
left life and joy in its wake.
The warmth of your touch,
the illumination of your smile
blooms a thousand sunflowers
that make up this soul.

I do not doubt
You know I love you,.
I do not doubt
You have seen the man I
Truly am behind the veil
And mis direction

But alas there is
One thing that
I know you will never
Ever comprehend,
And that is the depth,
The agony and the yearning

Chasm within my chest,
The scale of the
You shaped hole
Within me
Or just how VERY MUCH
I ******* love you

I wish that you could see
The man I truly am,
Rather than the useless failure
I have acted as,

I wish that you could see and feel
The torment in my heart,
It matches that which
In yours I have caused,

I wish that rage which I created
Never came to be,
I wish the pain you feel
Would be hurting only me,

I never loved a woman
Quite how I love you,
Never been a coward for
Fear of losing who I love before,

You are that one who is pure of heart,
That one my soul has sought,
And now my soul reviles me
For what stupidity has brought,


Soon I may hear my life will end
Rather sooner than I aimed,
Yet losing you is far far worse,
That life I lose is maimed,

And even as I write this verse
My heart yearns to make you whole,
So if my passing helps you heal
I gladly take that end,

But please know this my lady love,
The man you loved,
Saw glimpses of,
That man you saw that worshipped you,

That was the real me

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
     And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
     When love beckons to you, follow him,
     Though his ways are hard and steep.
     And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
     Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
     And when he speaks to you believe in him,
     Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

     For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
     Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
     So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
     Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
     He threshes you to make your naked.
     He sifts you to free you from your husks.
     He grinds you to whiteness.
     He kneads you until you are pliant;
     And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

     All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

     But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
     Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
     Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
     Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
     Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
     For love is sufficient unto love.

     When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
     And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

     Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
     But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
     To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
     To know the pain of too much tenderness.
     To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
     And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
     To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
     To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
     To return home at eventide with gratitude;
     And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.