You were the one
That helped me
Find myself
Once again

Lost in an ocean
Drowning in my vices
Of my hurting spirit

You told me it
That it was all me
That I had it in myself
To get up again
The whole time


But I still thanked you
For that helping hand

You reached out

To grab my drowning hand
And you helped
Me pull myself out

But now

I'm drowning again

And this time
You're the one holding me under

You are crushing everything
You've told me
That was so positive
So helpful
So kind
So caring

And you tell me
Exactly what I was telling myself
While I was drowning

I don't know why
You are doing this to me

You make me feel
So worthless

I feel a pain
Strait in my chest
For every time you hurt me
With venomous words
And a contorted face
Of misplaced anger

You even said
That I'm worthless
You told me I was pathetic

You told me
"I can say whatever I want to you,
And do whatever I want to you,
because I'll never lose you."

While you held me in you're arms

Stupid me
Said yeah...
Because it's true
I love you
Too much for my own good

That was
The most defeated voice
I've ever heard in myself

Where have you gone?

it'll make me feel worth it
if you tell me I'm worthless
make me cry
then make love to me all night
the bruises are worth it for the
apology
the hurtful words are worth it if it means
you'll love me
i'm not a head case or insane
I just don't want you to leave me
please hurt me
then ill know you want me.