If one spoiled apple can wreck the whole barrel...

How many barrels will I have to jump in and ruin until they finally  get rid of me?

Copper coil,
Condensed candy,
Ceding comfort,

cotton,
candy,
clouds.

Cyclical contentment,
Cool convenience,
Captivatingly casual.

Cotton.
Candy.
Clouds.

Clean conclusion,
Cheerless continuation,
Cultivating casualties.

COTTON!
CANDY!
CLOUDS!

It's j#st another love letter.
Tho#sands,
H#ndreds,
MILLIONS
Exactly like it.

I missed ###r text.
Sorry.
I promise,
The anxiety of realizing
MORE
Than makes #p for it.

### told me to chill.
That b#rned a little.
### know that my
ANXIETY
Is bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad B a D.

I'm sorry for making ###
Worry.
Worryworryworryworryworry
All the letters
BL#RRING
With my tears.

We all want to be
Special.
I'm not special.
Not to ###.
Not to my best friend,
who ###'re dating.
Not to my other best friend,
###.
NOBODY.
That's why ### aren't in this poem.

Shrink yourself
Oh she's fading away
Hold her bones together
As the movies play

When a diet becomes an addiction
I felt myself give in
My mind was hooked on these
Skinny thoughts

Bones dance in my dreams
And I couldn't be shaken awake
Yes I'll be skinny like the others
Beautiful like I want

But there's nothing beautiful
About your hair falling out
And passing out and hitting your head
And freezing in the summer
And constantly falling asleep

There's nothing cute about
***** in your hair
And on your clothes
****** noses
And aching bones

Nothing glamorous behind that bathroom door
Just a stupid girl
With her head stuck half way down the pipes

Tired eyes
Blinking with the
Sound of my every breath.

I stare at the rustic table in front of me.
I see things without actually seeing them,
My mind wanders to places I don't
Want to think about.

I try to widen my eyes and focus
So maybe I can stay in this
Permanent zone for a little
While longer.

Thoughts still race through my mind
In slow motion
And I want the world to stop...

And.

Listen...

To the whole essence, that is me...
Because I simply cannot
Express myself
In the ways that matter.

It upsets me
Because I cannot be brave
As the characters in story books, that I love so much

I try to write my feelings to you...
The feelings that
I cannot simply
Portray...