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  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
Jack Torrance
Internal scars,
infected with guilt.
A world on it's side,
a forty-five degree tilt.

One day I am fine,
and the next not so much.
It's a bipolar horror,
of memories and such.

I swear I just saw you,
but my mind's playing tricks.
It's like burning a candle,
to the end, with no wick.

I could swear I was crazy,
but my mind tells me no.
So we argue out loud,
a new ultimate low.

Please fix me i'm broken,
wait, stop. I'm ok.
It's the **** that I deal with,
on a regular day.

Now this purple gorilla,
is making me mad.
Did I say that out loud?
Ignore that, my bad.

Oh well, just forget it,
let's try to move on.
Oh yeah your not here,
I forgot you were gone.

Snap back to reality,
who's this guy I don't know?
He says he's my therapist,
times up I should go.
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
Kat
From what I see everyone fits in somewhere
I stare enviously at the people who others who shower them with so much care.
It’s uncomfortable for me to hang out with my middle school “friends” they all have similar interest and have forged something deep.

While I’m over here trying hard just to fit in.
Like in a YouTube video makes by Spechie,
I’m feeling like a snake because my personality is kind of fake.

Of course, this has changed the way I see things.
I’m no longer naive and see things as perfect and pretty like I did in the 6th grade.
When my eyes were forced open my the things my “friends” talked about I felt like my life was a lie.

The people I hang out with they are a little weird.
I’m not weird enough to fit in with this group
But I’m not normal enough to fit in with everyone else.

They all talk about things that concern each other.
While I’m over here talking about things that concern me.
I feel self-centered and conceded.
That’s not what I want not at all but I don’t know what to say.
If I don’t have something to say quickly the topic will change.

Everyone talks about their own experiences
Everyone talks about what they’ve seen
When I do it though I just get stares because I’m not funny
When I talk about me I think that I am self-fish.
I honestly don’t belong anywhere with these people.
I diffidently hang out with certain people.
Some of them I hang out with.
They are really kind
But I don’t fit in with them
And I always feel alone even when people surround me.
I’d like to add a happy ending but it would be lies.
This is something I’m feeling now, any advice?
tbh the grammar is terrible there's too many mistakes to fix
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
Stefan Smith
depression depression depression

Stop it.

Leave.

I is me and
you are you.
Seperate from identity
yet your lies root to my core.
I can't help but listen as
gravity gradually seems heavier
and
heavier.

You can feed on me
that's fine.
Distort my reality
and take my smile.
But you will never take my hope.

The endless source behind the
Truth
Of my soul.
You'll never cease the
I in me.

So form each woe,
but forever is my soul.
Endureth this universe.

Go ahead.

Take me.

depression depression depression
Andrew Choo Apr 2018
Every time someone
Tells me that they
Know what it feels like
It frustrates me
It feels like
No one gets it
No one really listens.

You're not like me
You have no idea what
I'm going through.

Those times
Hours, minutes
That you put in;
All that effort and energy
Wasted for nothing.

Maybe it's because
I don't see it
I don't see the pay-off.
The results seem to
Be diminished.
Finished.

It just seems useless
Worthless
Like there's no point
In telling you more.
My mind and my pride
They just shatter
Like there's no one
Holding me up
No one beside me.
My trust just vanishes.
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
III
It's so much more
Than the daffodil sunrise
Exhaling puffed purple trails of smokey
Cotton ball clouds
Reflected across the stitches
Of your hazel-green iris
That captures my attention so,
And refuses to return
My breath you've stolen.
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
Nicholas Fonte
I am the one
Who is never seen
The one who walked away
And who locked the door
The one who couldn't even scream
Within his own room
You all assume
That my birth
Held no worth
But now I realize
That I'm the one confused
I could only see one sky
When you all can see multiple skies
I can't understand why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
It was never fun
To end up so far
Now I remain inside
This tightly locked room
But it was that night
When I was with my friend
Even if we were the abused
There was no need to fight
On that day
Where he didn't choose
For his life to end
Now I'm the one that falls
I was the one
Who controlled fate
I hurt much more
Than any time before
I was left feeling unsure
I cried
In that room
For a long time
I needed a cure
That I knew could never be found
Because everyone that was around
Couldn't get into the locked room
I've looked at the same walls
All this time
While carrying this crime
I've dealt with all their views
And I still don't comprehend
I know I will never be alright
But now I have some clarity
To stand up in that room
There is light
Flowing from the open doorway
Where with sincerity
I can finally show them the walls
And I can see all of their skies
I will proudly bear this scar
And join everyone in this life
Even if I can't bear all this strife
I know I will eventually find my way
A special long poem for the 75th poem I'm posting on here! (In case people are wondering, I do have a lot of long poems, but they are the most special to me so I tend to not post any. I will eventually though!)
Idk

Hold back the tears
Hide your fears
Keep up that smile
its all going to be fine

Curl into a ball
Safe under the covers
Shield your ears
Close your eyes

The world is scary
The world is dark
But the world is also beautiful
No. Stop. Its an illusion

Don't trust anybody
They will surely leave

Fight for them
But they don't want me
let them go
But then I'm all alone

Surrounded by lies
These people play their games
Loose yourself in the moment
And for a second you can be happy

Take off that blindfold
And you see who's truly there
There's nobody around
Just you
within your own pit of despair

I'm lonely
They all pretend
Its all false, its all fake
Its true isint it?

You dwell in your self pity
You push people away
You dont show your true emotions
Then you still expect them to stay?

So in the end
Who else is fake?
Who else is playing pretend?
Cause surely you can see now
Your just like them
What kind of life is this?
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