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  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
skyler
people change everyday
so i vow to fall in love with you
every time the sun rises

s.s
Andrew Choo Apr 2018
They call me a fighter,
But...


I'm tired of fighting.
Andrew Choo Apr 2018
Hey.
Let me tell you something;
Every morning,
I'll go outside and
Close my eyes and
Think:
Who am I?
Why does it feel like
There's not a person
In the world that
Sees me
Understands me
My mind is so
Crowded
Messy
Filled with
Mixed messages.
Angel and demon
Dark and light
Wrong and right.
Why do I feel so helpless?
So useless?
Why do I feel so small
In a big world?
Obstacles that challenge me
Physically
Emotionally
Mentally
Psychologically
People tell me that
It's my pride
It's me trying to
Compensate for my
Own actions
It's me against myself.
They say that I can't do it alone.
But they're wrong.
Failure is not an option.
Failure is not an opportunity.
Failure is quitting,
Giving up,
On myself.
On the kids that look up to you.
On the friends that depend
On you to be there.
On the weak that rely on you
To stand up against the abusers.
Giving in, giving up
Is not an option.
Not for me.
They say that it's not
My burden to carry.
Not my burden to carry
Other people's pain
Other people's suffering
Other people's weaknesses
Not my burden
To carry the world.  
If you want to tell me that
It's not mine to carry,
It's not mine to protect,
It's not mine to be strong,
Then you don't know me.
Hell, if you think you know me,
I don't know how.
Because I don't know me.
Who am I?
Who am I supposed to be?
What am I supposed to do?
Not later, but now.
Because now,
More than ever,
I just want to hide,
To leave this world.
To leave and
To never come back.
Now, more than ever,
I want to die so badly.
To see friends come up and ask,
"How are you doing?"
But to never know
The real answer.
Because their questions
Never really were
Meant to be.
I can't live in the moment
Or for tomorrow.
I just can't.
I'm breaking my own rules.
Life is going to **** me.
Either life or it'll be me.
Andrew Choo Apr 2018
they say that
sticks and stones may
b r e a k  my bones
but words will never h u r t me....

but words are like scars
they leave trails on my skin  
as tear drops drip
evermore, they stay.

seven years ago,
i still remember what you said.
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
Bee
hell is a place where
you constantly love those that
do not love you back.
  Apr 2018 Andrew Choo
laura
feels like putting my hand
on something sharp kinda day
invincible temporary, of course
fight the system on a february dawn

where the lamp's lambent spheres
bob in and out of existence
as the sunshine overcomes their presence

first kiss with you, like hands
dancing in the fires
trying to stay warm in the winter light
an ogre of a dream, a curse to be this shadow

compared to the glow of an angel like you
Andrew Choo Mar 2018
The edge of a blade
I prayed
For second chances
Until it happened to me
Unfortunate circumstances

The score setter,
Conviction letter,
The get good getter;
That hurting someone is
Gonna make me feel better.

This life that I live
Is a warrior’s craft
Hanging by life’s raft
Ninjas and samurais
Gang and clan ties.

You gotta hang me
Stand by me
Wildcard.
You know, it’s hard.

Life’s near impossible
Whether life allows
Or disavows
These are my vows
For better or for worse,
Till death do us part.
Part me, part facade.
Am I a fraud?
I just don’t know.

Back to the future
Hovercraft
Hover board
Overboard.
Sinking and drowning,
19 and counting.

Two sides of the same story
Anger and despair
Hope and peace
Broken pieces.
Broken heart,  
Shattered mind.

A life,
Destined for greatness…
Only to fall short
To slip up
And never get picked up.

Feeding memories,
Feeding thoughts,
Dreams killed,
Nightmares born.

Let me ask you a question:
Have you ever looked down…
The barrel of a gun?
To face death
In the midst of life;  

Shot down because
I just wasn’t
Good enough.

Not enough good luck.
Lucky number three.
Son, brother, outcast.
Shunned from reality’s past.
Friend, family, fake fronts,
Fighter, thinker, life stunts.

Angels telling me to stay, retreat.
Demons yelling at me to hit replay, repeat.
Me? Staring at a bedroom wall
Calling, pleading with God
To Control-Alt-Delete.

Hara-kiri,
Life’s ******;
From what I foresee,
I’ve gotten third degree…
Burns.

We’re told to
Have a fire.
A fire that never
Gets put out.

We’re told to
Reach for the stars,
And never give up.

Told to
Be bold and
To be brave.

Told to
Be the best and
Only the best.

Told that
We only…  
Live once.

But here I am,
Telling you to
Live and to last.

You see,
All my life,
I’ve had
Angels and demons
All around me.

This broken world;
It surrounds me.
But His grace;
It astounds me.

His peace covers me
Like the trust between lovers be
His Spirit hovers over me.

To live and to last,
To look to the future,
Embrace the present,
And accept the past.

Despite my darkest days,
God always provides
Now, here I hide;
In His brightest lights.
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