What if I tried again,
hopefully this time i’d win.
Will I regret those I left behind-
those I never let in?

To those I love, I’m sorry in advance.
It’s not your fault, it’s mine to bear,
a burden i’ve held for so long,
I’m far too broken to repair.

Is this my final goodbye?
Will I finally get some rest?
I’ve fought for so long, I cant anymore.
I swear I tried, I truly did my best.

It feels all too familiar,
this emptiness in my chest,
No, no, no-not again,
please let my heart rest.

I fought so hard,
to leave that dark hole,
now I'm falling back in-
how do I save my soul?

I can't do this again,
I'm so scared.
I can't go back...
I almost died there.

This gaping hole that cannot be filled,
A father's love I have never known,
An undying yearning, seemingly instilled.

I'm like a child, with tears being spilled,
Crying for that bond, that love of my own,
This gaping hole that cannot be filled.

The promise of protection, never unfulfilled,
Someone to remind me I'll never be alone,
An undying yearning, seemingly instilled.

What if he was here, had never been killed?
Would he speak with a loving tone?
This gaping hole that cannot be filled.

To be wrapped in his arms is my will,
This hope hurts my heart, my every bone.
This gaping hole that cannot be filled,
An undying yearning, seemingly instilled

Often, but not always,
It feels like talking to a wall.
You do it without knowing,
Like I'm talking to no one at all.

Every now and then,
You may throw in a word.
But you're still not listening,
And I'm left unheard

Maybe I should stop trying,
Keep it all in my head.
I'd rather speak less,
Than be ignored instead.

A shovel in one hand, a seed in another,
I know it'll be a flower, not anything other.
Though, you ask me what it is I think I'll see,
"A flower.", and you say "How can that be?".

I know what I'm planting; but you question it so,
If you're not the one planting it how would you know?
You say I'm wrong about what it'll grow into,
You keep implying and I start to think it may be true.

I no longer show you any of the flowers I grow,
When I did, you refused to see what I showed.
I'll keep them a secret, mine from now on,
It's no longer your place to tell me what I plant is "wrong".

Please don't leave me by my lonesome,
It's a dangerous place to be.
Creeping out from the depths of silence,
Nothing can hurt like how my mind hurts me.

Its become frightening to be happy,
Never knowing how long it'll last.
It's easier constantly being in a dark place,
I knew that my future would mirror my past.

If I knew happiness would last forever,
I could find peace in solitude someday.
But while my mind remains as such,
This war within cannot be kept at bay.

Oftentimes, when I close my eyes,
Hidden fears take that chance to arise.
Within these fears is a life without you,
I'd sell my soul for it to remain untrue.

Imagine the sun, devoid of it's rays,
And the nights, left without it's days.
In that same way I'd be incomplete,
For how do you sing a song that's lost it's beat?

But alas, I have fears I don't allow,
To keep me from solace, because I have you now.
I will not fret over a future that may or may not be,
Because at least in the now, you're here with me.