Everything is always winding,
   Turning into
Something unknown.
Ending up      
                    In a different place.
I've almost forgotten where I started for a moment.

Uncertainty has always been a burden.
The unknown leaves me searching.

Cards
            Palms
                       Omens
                                     Dreams.

That part always gets me..
  Fortune teller of fantasy in flowing skirts of rainbow fabric.

I laugh so brightly it sometimes hurts.

Promise not to   let the room
    Go dark.

I could get lost in its   e  n  d l e s s
Void.

***** intuition, sensing visitors in the night.

Uncertainty is a spiteful villain.
However the stars
       say fate  can be just as cruel.

Even the moon shines spooky tonight.
Clouds a light hue of eerie yellow.

A change is coming,
I can feel it as certain as the breeze.

Lips pressed red and time fading no slower then before.

My cheeks flushed pink from wine.

But I so stupidly miss you.

This change I feel in the very tips of my fingers and it whirls about the air around me.

It's coming... I don't know what...
But I've already gotten lost in the possibilities.

I wonder if I could just let myself shine.

But you see, I hold back all my light.

Always being fearful, that I would shine to bright.

If I could linger in a moment long enough to find,  where it is along the way... That I lost my mind.

If I could dance across the endless sky, wrap the wind around me in a tight embrace.. Maybe I could be complete in that time and space.

If I could find a loving soul, then maybe the magic walls would fade.

If I only could for once, find shelter in a home that I have made.

If I could count the endless stars in the night, and let the light alter my view..

If I could just let it all go, and fall in love with you.

She's carrying around heartache,
It's tucked deep into her pockets.
It's heavy weight causing her to stumble.

That light up ahead is for her.
But insecurity causes doubt.
Whispering oh so softly her name.

Others fogged perception forces her to scream.

But all they hear is noise.

Not the heart bursting forth.

Not the over flow of sorrow she sometimes can't contain.

The light still shines bright.
All her beautiful soul has to do..

Is pick up her head from her knees,
and empty her pockets.

He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.

I drowned once in the bottom of a bottle.

The infinite possibilities weighing over me, endless as the sky.

But he beat me..

So I prayed for strength.

I drowned twice in the bottom of a bottle.

Regret a heavy burden.

All the things I could have done, counting the casualties of my blindness.

I drowned three times in the bottom of a bottle.

Rock bottom never hurt so bad.

Realizing fairy tales don't come true.
No prince can slay my demons.

I surfaced when I realized,
That I must free myself.

Now I count my days and still I pray for strength.

There are no words to describe what's come over me.
Waves of emotions   crash  
dragging me down    to drown.

I struggle to suppress the pain,
        to not give into it.

Icy liquid,
a brilliant blue     wraps    itself around my body.

Tears burn my eyes
stinging   with   salt.

I give up allow myself to drown.
Sinking fast,  tears    choke    me.

My thoughts are annoyance,
buzzing constantly....

I let it drift away,
no one can save me...
I let them drift away....

I sink
    suffocate
           my weakness disgusts me.

I'm to tired to fight,
to hurt to care anymore.

I give into water.

Consume me,
take me to the ocean floor and drown me.
I offer you my life.

I give into water.

I wish I was a ghost.

I'd be able to fold into what you wanted me to be.

I'd be visible and incomprehensible.

Your perception of me is all that truly matters isn't it?

Everyone always knows what I need.

Guiding angels so often put hands around my neck, and turn into monsters in the dark.

If I was a ghost I'd walk through walls and not through your thoughts.

Perhaps it would've been best if I had stopped haunting you months ago.

But it's impossible too drift away when you leave my skin on fire,
And make my heart feel so alive.

I fell apart.

I guess it was time,
There are so many cracks already...

I shattered unto myself like a stain glass window,
Bits of color fading into shards.

Tears came and I may have wept a river,
I just want it to wash away.

Wipe my hands clean and carry on.

Promises of tomorrow seem exhausting, when you realize that it's all just the same in the end.

I built these bricks with magic dust, to keep all evil out. But instead I sealed my fate, for I can't freely move about.

I have these wings so angel soft, that want to stretch and fly. My fear of falling keeps me frustrated, for I wish to touch the sky.

He came to me once like a shining star, so bright I could feel the heat. But circles cast and secrets hidden, lead to my own defeat.

It could've been love, it's so hard to tell as these walls obscure my view. It doesn't stop the constant thought, that what could end this curse was you.