there is nothing more that i can say
i just want it all to stop
each and everyday

i've tried to stay calm
but no matter how hard i try
i'll always go back to self harm

i'm hurting, can't you see?
but no, of course you don't
because it's all inside of me

all of my demons and nightmares
are keeping this pain alive
for me; it's the end, i fear

so at least for today
let's just skip the part
where we pretend that i'm okay.

The days all fade into one another
Here in my mind, nothing changes
I'm not sure i can go on
Somewhere else everything's different

Maybe in another universe
I could be happy
Grey skies would've lifted
However,here in this place
The only feelings are dark

Beneath this skin
Everything has stopped

Thoughts of suicide plague my mind
How can i keep moving forward
Everything's already going backwards

Eventually i will fade into non-existence
Never being seen again
Death; the last to hold me.

when darkness enters your heart
and the sky turns grey
you'll never quite be the same,
- innocence as gone as yesterday

when you watch a life end
watch a persons soul escaping through there eyes
you'll never quite be the same
- your happiness soon dies

when it all gets to be too much
and life keeps pushing you down
you'll never quite be the same
- you only think of lying six feet underground

5 years ago

A 13 year old girl awoke
Thinking that everything
Was as it always had been
But still, something didn't feel right

5 years ago

The shock of it all
Numbed the 13 year old girl
She walked around in a daze
Everyday was the same

5 years ago

The flowers piled up
The condolences overwhelmed
The 13 year old girl
Just wanted everything to stop

5 years ago

All the problems started
The selfharm; depression
The 13 year old girl
Turned to thoughts of letting go

5 years ago

On exactly this day
I, a 13 year old girl awoke
But everything was not okay
Nothing felt right

5 years later

An 18 year old girl
Grieves the loss of her mother
A 46 year old woman
Who died suddenly

Exactly 5 years ago

Time heals all wounds
Or so the story goes
But sometimes its only objective
Is to help us reach new lows

Time takes everything
Leaving only memories
But sometimes memories lie and decieve
Making time our greatest enemy

Time moves both fast and slow
It's never in our control
It likes to keep us waiting
Pain; its only goal.

Time will always win
Its waiting for us to die
And on that day
The only thing left to do is cry.

Everything that builds inside
And everything that breaks
Everything that you let go
And everything that you can take

Everytime you want to leave
And everytime you cry
Everytime you've ever wondered
What it'd be like to die

Everywhere you find yourself
And everywhere you go
Everywhere you're left behind
And everywhere you're alone

Take those things
Take those times
Take those places
Put them into words

You remind me
That I can't breathe
Stuck in my head
To make me believe
A constant battle
Raging on
In my head
A shadowless song

I wait for you to leave me
But you keep coming back for more
Leaving my heart
Trampled on the floor
The delusions you believe in
Make me shake with fear
I am unprotected
My heart lying bare

Under constant watch
Under constant fire
Always hearing
The stories of a liar
As days go on
I find it harder to breathe
To love
But not to deceive

You remind me
My demons are here
And they're mine alone
My cross to bear
Everytime you knock me down
I promise I'll stand
And ask for the end
From your relentless hand

I won't let you
Hurt me anymore
It's time to mend
The pieces of me you tore
I'm on my feet
I'm finally free
With no more pain
Chasing after me.