i'm unable to breathe
and she's just lying there
i don't know what to do
i'm just so scared

now i'm sitting on the couch
a stranger holding on to me
i can't stop crying
tell me it's just a dream

a week goes by so fast
why won't time slow down?
everyone's gathered to say goodbye
i think i'm starting to drown

i think it's been a month now
or has it been two?
time is moving too fast
no matter what i do

one pair of scissors
one small scar
time slows down
i won't go too far

people ask if i'm okay
and i say that i am
it's all a lie
but i couldn't give a ****

i know it isn't right
to cry myself to sleep
but since she died
a step is like a leap

cutting into myself
and watching blood run
is the only thing stopping me
from coming undone

maybe i should stop
and find another way
it takes hundreds of cuts
to make me feel okay

i stop for a little while
i don't want to die
but i go back to the blade
to stop the tears i cry

three years on
it's still too hard
i'm still afraid
of going to far

i can't stop now
i can't live without it
maybe i'm addicted
just one more hit

i'm not getting better
i want to run away
after three and a half years
i should be okay

i've tried to get help
but i still can't breathe
it's like i'm under water
- still no air for me

i fight as hard as i can
each and every day
to be who they see
- a girl who's okay

sometimes depression takes it's toll
it shakes me to the core
and i find that
i don't want to live anymore

i guess i'll keep going
suicide isn't fair
i know there are people
who love, me and care

i'm still not fixed
my story's not over yet
hopefully all the things i've done
won't fill me with regret.

it builds
it builds
it builds
it never breaks
i give
i give
i give
it always takes
i cut
i cut
i cut
the pain goes away
i bleed
i bleed
i bleed
but it comes back anyway

there's no use in pretending
i just can't do it anymore
i can't hide what i'm feeling
i'm ending this war

there's no way to save me
i'm falling fast
everything that i thought i could be
well it just didn't last

no motivation and no light
nothing but heartache
it all ends tonight
there's nothing left to fake

there are so many people i'll let go
so many goodbyes
i've moved on, and they will too
there are no more tears to cry

to all my family
especially my dad
i'm so very sorry
i know you must be mad

there was nothing that you could do
it was all on me
i'm sorry for hurting you
in time you'll see

i tried everything i could
to stop the pain in me
it was too dark from where i stood
and i found i couldn't see

not everybody makes it through
this crazy thing called life
i wasn't as strong as any of you
there was just so much strife

i got a little lost inside myself
and started to enjoy the pain
i stopped wanting help
i've literally lost the game

if i had some advice to give
it would be this
learn to live
and learn to miss

because every dark and gloomy day
is so much worse alone
you lose the words to say
don't leave me on my own

when you shut everybody out
the darkness eats away at you
taking away all you once felt
leaving only blue

soon all that's left
is a shadow of who you once were
all you can do is hope you'll be missed
of this i'm sure

in the end
every day was the same
and i lost the will to mend
there was no end to pain

i've struggled so much
over the years
not one thing as such
causing never ending tears

i was addicted to cutting
watching my blood run
using a little sharp thing
to stop all the numb

i started to eat a lot less too
trying to lose a little weight
it wasn't obvious to you
all of my self-hate

i wanted so badly to run away
and start my life again
so i had to pray
that this wasn't a sin

i disappointed a lot of people
i led them astray
now i'm going to hell
i just can't stay

there's so much more
that i should write down
about how none of you saw
my lifeless body drown

i was a little mad
that you couldn't see
that all the happiness you had
couldn't be found in me

none of what's happened is your fault
you're not the ones to blame
if this story's to be told
i manifested my own pain.