my body is an
electron multiplying charge coupled device
and the burning photons
browning my skin
tinting my hair to an effortlessly highlighted hue
are absorbed
shooting out electrons
from the arching potential
running just under the surface
like my skin is some insulator
to protect other’s touch
so my electricity doesn’t
stop a beating heart
has my heart somehow turned into a generator?
pumping out electrons like
some sort of continuously accelerating
perpetual motion machine
i tremble
the noise from the signal emitted
static snaps in my hair
and imaginary wildfires dance forth
ripping and roaring in my head
the tinder of my thoughts
feeding their starved pallattes
and they need more and more
as the flames call to me and weep
the goddess of electrons
with voltage running through every vein
and amperes arching through arteries with the energy of my heart
the exception to the notion handed down by Newton
energy and matter are neither created nor destroyed

You know some people say
That the eyes are the window to the soul.
Some people say
That what's behind can be warm despite the cold.
Some people say
That they're heavy when the soul's old
I would say I'm one of the people.

But what about when the eyes go dull?
When there seems to be nothing left?
When the color seems to disappear
When the whole world committed theft
Of those eyes' happiness
Of their very life
It can seem like hope is gone
Like the only choice is a rusty knife
Cause after all, we're all just pawns.

Play the game, play the game.
Move pieces, never sing
But playing's ultimately all the same
When we've already lost our king.
Everything's just finished.
The games already done
Cause everything is finished
When someone has gone and won.

But what if the game isn't over?
What if there still something there?
What if those eyes still shine
Even in this poison air?
It would mean the soul is strong.
Indomitable and true
It's steady, and it's love is long
Now we can move to you.

See no matter how many times you try
No matter how many times you fall
I know those eyes still shine
Even when you've lost it all
So when I'm feeling down
Or need to feel alive
All I need is to look in your eyes.
And I remember why I'm alive.

See it's people like you that keep me here
The ones I love and hold dear.
The ones that stick around forever
That help me bet my fear.
Whether dark, dull, or radiantly bright.
I know they'll always be there.
So I'll tell you what your eyes told me
I'm here. No need to be scared.

there was once a brick hearth
and my skinned kneed,
wild flaxen haired,
innocent self would sit there
to feel the fire’s warmth radiating through the stones.

there were ghost stories told
on picnic tables at state parks where
the calloused barefeet of my childhood
struck the dusty ground as i ran towards
not away
when i followed vitreous streams
with frigid soaked clothes clinging to my skin
all the way to the  river who now holds these memories
for me.

there was a sprawling old mimosa tree
whose diaphanous flowers would float
feathery petals
to decay on the ground.
How that tree must be a part of me somehow
from the scrapes my soft infantile skin
endured while trying to clamber up its branches
not for a moment tainting my insatiable appetite to explore.

there were steaming hot afternoon thunderstorms
a quotidian race home from the bowels
of the verdant green forest
dodging heavy raindrops
pregnant with the weight of coming years.

those years were the smell of fresh lighter wood
the acrid feel of smoke in the back of my throat
popsicles in the pool
and warm sun-kissed skin.

those times were blanket forts at sleep overs
the salt on sunflower seed shells
cracked in the dugout at softball games
they were the lilted drawl that curled comfortably
around eternal southern colloquialisms.
bike rides to get skittles and coke
at the gas station at the end of the street.
the wind in my hair as I careened down
what will always be known as
Thrill Hill

at some point my bike rusted
when was that?
the pool sat alone and unused
and evergreen forests became a passing image
in a dream
scraped knees turned to razor slices.
but my body will always carry the recollection.

The light is slowly fading from the sky.
There is the steady hum of cars passing by.
The birds are tuning up for their evening symphony,
And as a plane flys by it takes the lead.
A dog snuffles around the corner looking for something to eat,
Or perhaps a bunny to chase then she looks at me.
A beautiful evening no rain autumn is coming in.
Another day is done again with evening creeping in.

Who have I become?
Why didn't you tell me that I was changing?
Do you miss me the way I was before?
Or is this how you've always wanted me to be?
Weak.
Helpless.
Sad.
You're not a part of it.
Doesn't that mean anything?
Remember when I was something?
Something to hold on to.
Not I'm worthless.
To everyone but you.

All those who fought with silence,
Used their words instead of violence,
Tattooed scriptures upon their thighs
Battled the lows with ballpoint highs,
Burn away the fracture pieces,
Iron on the tainted creases,
This purging was our way of survival,
Poet's own parables a secondhand bible,
This was love, this was hate, this was rage,
This was anything we could confess in midnight haze,
Dream out loud all you silent eyed fiends,
For this was nothing but the fuel of the machine