My brain speaks no
While my heart shouts yes.

sometimes, i think of you
& my heart breaks again
but usually, as my day goes on
i feel amazing without you weighing me down

The number of stitches in my thigh,
punctures in my wrists,
the number of times you tried to **** me.

The number of paces I creased the carpet
with contemplating
how to escape you.

The number of hours you told me in bed
I'd be sorry after I left you,
naked and stabbing with your voice.

The number of  times I told my friends
your anger was disgusting, scary. The number
of times they told me don't worry.

The number of times you banged on my door,
****** knuckled, how many times I begged
for death, how many nights you barely left me
breathing.

I am just a memory.

My heart was covered by ice
Now it has melted cause of lies
And I realize what's under it
Is way too weak
I had never cried
Now my pillow shines bright
I used to be strong
Now I feel like in these stupid songs
I've got knives in my chest
My throat is all compressed
It's so hard to keep breathing
I guess I just started what's called living

I've always been the good pal
not the one you take to the bal
I'll never be girly and cheesy
people'll maybe say I'm freaky
I'd rather wear snickers and jeans
than wait for the charming prince
I'm the one who likes junk food
not the girl this guy finds cute
I thought I was fine with that
but now I'm feeling kinda sad
I know I'm more like a dude
I hope that's just the prelude