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 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Torin
one thousand
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Torin
I'll write one thousand bad poems
If that is what it takes to write a good one
I'll have a thousand bad loves
For the same reason
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Cowin Alan
Rye
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Cowin Alan
Rye
On the day we met.
I never will regret.
The smoke.
The night.
Traced the light.
Around your eyes.
No I couldn't fight.
What was building up inside.
I loved your life.
You're gone.
I hide.
From everything welling up tonight.
Like most nights. I miss her. She loved me more than anyone else has. And sometimes I think more than anyone will.
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
ryn
My Mom
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
ryn
.
     *(              |                      •    ||    )
   (   •|               |                )
(          |||     •  |  )
\   |        |   //
\ || •   | //
•       ••     ••
•like clockwork,
  her day would begin
•pressures of life like no
one could imagine•toting the
crushing weight upon her tiny shou-
lders•responsibilities and expectations that
would overwhelm before she falters•she'd ***-
ble as she groans her duress•her skin would crack
to release pent up stress•then there would come a day
•her exhausted veins would rupture and then give way
•she has the most terrible temper•but we would still flock
to her•
why?*........when time and again she offers us strife•

simply because she provides,
she gives us life•
Concrete Poem 12 of 30

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.
Broken and barren.
This frostbitten air haunts my
Soul; I'm going mad.
And I'm not sure if it's the
Change in the weather
Or
The changing time,
Or
The change in me that
Is
   So
                          Unsettling.
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Love
I dream of you every moment of every day.
I think of you when I look in the mirror and I think of your arms around my waist.
I miss you with every breath I draw and I miss us with every breath that leaves my body.
I remember your smooth voice the second I wake up and its the last thing I hear when I fall asleep.
You are all I can think about.
The perfect drug within the perfect woman.
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
PoorLionNotKing
I met the devil the other day
you wouldn't believe
what he had to say.

Said I'm tired of always leaving
without a chance to believe
deceived by all my lying.

My fate is tied to my sin
death caused by a tree
to meet a fiery end.
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
cf
10:00pm
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
cf
When you feel not good enough for another human?

Does this mean you are no longer good enough for yourself?
 Dec 2015 Red Fox
Ayeshah
I don't like what I see
when I look in the mirror
  I stand there holding myself*

Sometimes I'll place  my hands on my hips
and move from side to side
turning this way or that
grabbing at my behind
pulling it up
seeing how it'd look
if it were plumper
like them girl's in the videos


Sometimes I grab a handful of my belly
or **** it in and see how I'd look
if I could just get over this 14 year baby weight
and all the pounds
I've gained from my last few miscarriages.


I know stress plays a role
I eat when stressed
  I eat my depression and eat when sad or on my cycle
I love to eat and love food
but it's truly never been my reason for this weight
burdening me down


I lost my will to move
to walk or work out
lost my drive to fight or even speak out
I went from working and going to school
staying busy
to doing only bits here and there that I have to do


I can't  be bothered
don't even want to
I'll lay here and not move
long as I can


I've stayed in a runt for so long
I'm talking years felt so low
and haven't dug our yet
and I know for me
this depressions a killer
it's got me defeated
beaten down
so low I never wanna be loved again...


As I  stand in front of this mirror
I hate what's become of me
my pessimistic behavior
and ideology of what love should be
seems like its not meant for me
I hate looking at myself
I hate seeing my luscious curves
my ample succulent *******


I only currently
like my long hair
that goes to my shoulders
for this chocolate cocoa skin
it seems so out of place
people wonder if its a weave
and not my own
but this is all home grown
yet and still

I just like who I am as a person & represent
not my physical appearance
not only because I have a "good hair"
for a black girl
  I'm ONLY black
yet
I'm proud of my heritage
I'm black and Puerto Rican
but who cares


Funny how my shape for others
is just right
&
for me it isn't
I don't have that j.lo figured

I don't look like a Nicki Minaj
how do I look?
I um well  I look just like me
but seems I can't find someone who'd
conquered my heart
and own it
take care of it as they should....


One  day I'll get tired of my self loathing
work out
and the World
will be impressed
but not
as much as ME!

*Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present  
All right reserved
 Nov 2015 Red Fox
MonkeyZazu
Strange
 Nov 2015 Red Fox
MonkeyZazu
You left
to find yourself
of which you found

I'm thankful
your world's
a little less upside down

Got yourself together
your life
you rearranged

But now im not in it
and am left feeling
strange

— The End —