When you fall in love with a mean man you’ll find yourself truly believing that you deserve the misery. The fighting, the hurt and the crying feels all too consistent. Uneasy becomes your default setting as you find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid the anger. You’ll forget how you once loved the sensation of skin-to-skin contact the more you catch yourself flinching at his touch. When he points out that you’ve gotten distant you wont even notice how guilt melts into consent as he takes what he tells you he deserves. It’s alright, he loves you. 
If you’re anything like me you’ll believe that you’re not enough. You’ll believe that it’s your fault when he starts a fight. If only you could do better, then he’d have no reason to be upset. You wont believe it when your mom tells you it isn’t healthy to come home crying every time you see him. You wont believe your friends when they tell you that you deserve better than a possessive man who won’t let you out of his sight. Worst of all, you certainly wont believe yourself when you’re brain is screaming that you cant take it anymore; because your heart is screaming even louder, “He loves me!”

I’m constantly pointing out constellations for people who will never see the same lust within them that I just cant live without. I don’t know why I still get excited to share the beauty of the stars with people who will never notice the passion in my eyes as they gaze up at Cassiopeia and Orion sharing the winter night sky above New York. My dreams are in those stars, caught in the webs of the constellations. My heart is in the moon and her ever changing face. My soul is lost in the galaxy in search of a long lost mate hidden beyond the planets. Someday i’ll know when my soul mate’s been found, on that day the passion in my eyes will be met with another just as strong.