This is how this story goes
I ask you, how does it feel when the lights don't stop
Bright screens blinding you, no place to go
Abandon Everything you know
And run away, escape from the prison of
Preconceptions
Let go, go out, free yourself from the chains
Abandon all the things you know
Put an end to the tedious cycle
I ask you once more, how does it feel?
How does feel when the tides slam into you?
Just run away, run into the emptiness
No cell phones, no TV
Let go, move out, here the words of judgement
don't stop
Abandon Everything you hold dear
Just quit, run away, run away
Just let go, be free
Hide your thoughts no more
Get out, move away from there vicious hearts
They say there's no place to go
But that's what makes worth trying.

One foot after the other, in perfect alignment
Carrying their spears of regrets with mirror shields to remind me of what I am
A full compliment of soldiers ready to invade my mind
More and more, their numbers never cease to increase
I try my best to stand my ground, equipped with my sword of dreams riding my noble steed of hope
Again I am faced with sad odds, I lose, again
I end up forfeiting a region of my country, again
I end up retreating to my castle of solitude
As I watch the invaders colonize the plains of my mind
Shades of sadness cloud the once clear and sunny skies
Color rich fields fade to black
Another battle, lost
They draw closer, so I ask myself, How much longer
How much longer till my walls of faith give in?
I started counting the days since my noble steed ran away
I've been doubting my chances since my trusty sword broke
The marching draws closer, I'll go out to face them, again.

I blink, like everyone else I blink
Fast enough to skip the darkness
And the nightmares that dwell in it
Ever waiting to strike

I have nothing but praise for my eye lids
For their strength, I have been working them overtime
I cannot stand the black, empty library my mind has become
Make no mistake, I'm at fault, to an extent

For I stood idly by as each page was forcefully ripped from it's peers bound by hard cover
Each section, descreted
All in the name of improvement

My own mind has become a black hole
I fight my way out of with every sleep
Nap or rest, Losing a piece of me everytime
When will it end?
When will my lids finally know rest?

The feeling of ecstasy that comes with
Closing your eyes feels faded to me
Everything seems far away these days
It's got me feeling really short sighted
Yet somehow it feels I'm dreaming

It helps
It helps to translate the screams of my heart into creative writings
Each line tailored under the supervision of a shrieking soul
Such poor working conditions have become the standard for my mind
I write because, each time I'm here I'm graced with deja vú of incredible proportions
I write because...
It helps
It helps because the blood of my bleeding heart make the perfect ink for my pen
So you see, it's not wasted
Each word giving of that red hue that soothes my teary eyes
I take refuge in my own arms, and in these words
I write because there's nothing else I can do in this lonesome chamber i refer to as my life.

It won't matter how it turns out
Not to me
It was my decision
So I'll keep screaming no regrets
Born alone die alone
I killed my heart beacuse nothing in this place
deserves it
I let the darkness take my soul
Its a hell of a habit
So don't get the wrong idea
I did this to myself
I let the demons out and threw away the keys
There's no place for love here
So I numb it, I numb it all
The sadness, the happiness, the pain
I numb them all
I chose the loneliness and it's never left me
I'm losing my mind and I've never felt anything so good
Letting go was the my decison
One that was hard to make but worth it
Drained myself of everything and found contempt with emptiness
Casted away every ounce hope of beacuse I'm tired of lies
No more faking how i feel
No more trying to get away
No more getting caught
This dream keeps getting to me and I'm tired the ****
I've set fire to all the bridges so I have nowhere to go
I did this to myself and I'm satisifed

At this point it feels like I'm just phasing through time
Phase one, lesson one, experience obtained
Unto the next
I slow down once in a while, to appreciate the warmth of sun
The freshness of the air, the sound of silence
Growing up, I heard the saying "enjoy the little things"
I felt it was just that, a saying
Now everything feels distant and those "little things" are my only true connections with reality

I wish I could tell my grandfather that I understand
I understand why he loved walking and sitting among the trees
I understand why he'd stand and stare at a lake for hours at a time
For that is, that truly is, living
Life is too short and the "big things" don't come as often as we want

I go through each day as it comes and accept what it has to offer, good or bad
When night time comes, I lay and rest
Till the next, a reset
And it begins again
I am phasing through the Days
Sometimes it feels pointless
Sometimes it proves it worth
Take what you get
Appreciate what you have
For the days won't wait, they come, they go
Such is life.

Pinned my heart to the floor, no more wandering  for you, Forces gather and feed on it
The other mind deep in me dragged me down to it's level
It never told me i'd be alone
Searching, couldn't find anyone's shoulder
Now I'm colder
I'm tired of hate, also tired of love
Better on my own.