is there a reason why I can't imagine my life ten years from now?
people know what they're passionate about
I used to know what I was passionate about
until real life hit me like a truck
and shattered my dreams into fragments on the concrete of my self-doubt
why am I so afraid of my future yet so unsatisfied with my present?

I love you
and you love me.

But I love like thunder and lightning
and you love like the calm before the storm.

You are waiting for the call
and I yell to you once you’re already gone.

Do you ever come across that feeling of melancholy?
When you’re going too fast on that midnight trolley
Your head starts spinning in unfamiliar directions
While you’re left there, looking for defections

Do you ever feel like you aren't enough?
Everyone thinks it’s all a big bluff
But deep down inside you know it’s true
The whole world around you starts to turn blue

Do you ever feel that obligation?
When in school you want certification
Gaining the card that classifies you as
That one guy who is cooler than jazz

Do you ever feel pressured to fall?
Into a love in which you can’t call
A pointless relation clouds your mind
Pushing you farther from what you might find

Do you ever feel like you try too hard?
To fit into a jigsaw, but instead bombard
Looking for a clique that suits you best
Coming to feel like you’re better than the rest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be found?
Lost inside your own impound
Deceived by self-inflicting thought
You continue to feel even more distraught

Do you ever just want to run away?
Leave behind your past and go astray
Forget the life you lived at home
And elsewhere discover a new throne

Do you ever feel like life is a game?
A game in which you can’t come to claim
The honorable title as the winner
Settling down for the same old dinner

Do you ever wonder if you’re treated unfair?
You live thinking that you cannot bear
The dreadful thought of being singled out
Making you want to scream and shout

Do you ever feel like nobody understands?
Like you’re the only one stuck within the strands
Trapped inside an ignorant state of mind
Only to come all this way and find…
That you were wrong all along
It was all just a mixed up song
These steps you take throughout high school
Turn you into some kind of rotten fool

One day you will come to see
That it was all part of the journey
You’ll take it in and walk down your path
Knowing that the worst of the wrath—
Is over…

-David Rombouts-

I thought I had a thousand words
Folded, like cranes, to gift you
My mouth cannot make their shapes,
They taste of regret, which
Unsettles me, you
Once as familiar to me as
The veins that decorate my
Wrists that I offered you, soft,
Meatless and vulnerable, I
Handed you a cunning blade and
Prayed you would not cut too deeply, or
Too casually, with disregard, I
Took my time in concluding that
A weapon must be passed, with
The blade turned inward, toward
The one who would be wounded most harshly, were they
To stumble and fall upon the cutting edge of trust.

Why can't I write?
Why can I no longer bleed words?
Has life taken that much of a toll
That I can no longer write about my world?

Isn't pain or happiness supposed to inspire a beautiful or heart wrenching poem?
I am currently experiencing both feelings in my life, but the words still do not show.

I spend hours on a keyboard, and weeks on my phone; trying to type a simple tiny poem.

But the blank page stares at me, mocking my lack of inspiration. I feel a lack of dedication and not an ounce of motivation.

I've lost it...

I can no longer express my feelings through ink or through the keys on a computer. I thought this was my skill, but I guess writing is no longer in my future.