Yes I laugh. Yes I smile.
But deep down I cry all the while.
Yes people like me. Yes, some love me.
But deep inside I want to shout go away.
Yes, I look sane (whatever that may be)
Yes, I look happy, not in pain.
But, happiness and pain share one thing, tears.
Tears of joy, tears of sadness. One and the same.
I cannot differentiate anymore.
Do you think some people are just born Eeyores? I do. I'm one.
If you always start low there's nowhere to fall.
So, who am I?
I'm a lie.

Tick,
The sound of a keyboard being abused by angry fingertips.
Tick,
Subtle sounds of the air conditioner creating frigid conditions.
Tick,
Fluorescent lights fill the room, revealing nothing but normality.
Tick,
Bashing my brain with stupid questions, clingining onto sanity for dear life.
Tick,
A phone rings, a melancholy mind state is to follow.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick....
****, at least I get paid.

Under the orange
street lights
it's 3am

Longing to find him,
she skulks alone
in the dark

And as London sleeps
her cries go unheard
by all but one

Is that you?
I knew that smelled familiar.
It's your heart again, isn't it?
I can almost imagine it
Helplessly perched
On the palms of your hands.
It reeks of heartache.
You should really get that checked.
It means
You believed in a boy again.
And I don't know
How those lies
Made it's way to the port,
Hopped on a ferry,
And voyaged to your bloodstream,
Making it's way to the arteries of
Whatever it is you have left
In your hands.
But it's fine.
Don't blame him.
Don't blame you.
You're both
Growing
A lot quicker than your skin expected
So
You have cuts and wounds but
Don't panic, I've got the thread.
It's time for the stitches.

What happened to your hands?
Did you play with fire?
Did you test the waters and were they hotter than you expected them to be?
At least
Now
You know that love
Was never really a game of trial and error.
The realest kind only comes around
About once or twice.
And I know your hands
Liked to fiddle around with the idea
That it would only be him.
For a while it was.
But that fire was extinguished.
And it's nice to hope that some flames would last forever
But
My darling, you deserve the sun.

What happened to your eyes?
They don't sparkle how they used to.
I know the sight of him
Knocked the wind right out of you
And lifted your spirits so high
And filled you up with enough electricity
To power that spark.
But the opportunities to gaze at him
Are only so temporary.
Things only glitter
When they're exposed to
The Light.
So, better fix those eyes on the
One thing
That is eternally bright.
Trust me, when you do, the tears
Will evaporate from your eyes,
Making everything clearer,
And the world will start to make sense again.

What happened to your ears?
You've pierced and stuffed them with
All the wrong syllables.
I know those phrases and letters
Sounded like a good idea for a while.
Maybe you heard them at the
wrong time.
Or
Maybe they were never meant for you.
I know how it stings.
But uncover your ears because
There are people who still want to tell you more
Beautiful truths.
You must listen.
Now,
The sight of the word "people"
Makes you wish I meant him.
But my darling, I can only
Assure you that there is someone
Out there
Carrying all the right words
In the pockets of his hoodie.

All you need to do now is
Be still.
Remember,
You are a princess.
For a while, you've kept your head down
And your crown
Is slowly slipping from it.
But a day will come when your heart will
Heal from the lies,
Your eyes will sparkle,
Your hands will work again,
Your ears will only hear songs
And it will all be because
You waited.
Let me tell you, my darling,
True love is more than worth it.
So,
Keep your chin up.
You can't miss it.

i spent 18 years of my life locked in a cage
isn't it time to break free
and start living like a normal human being
or is it too late

816

A Death blow is a Life blow to Some
Who till they died, did not alive become—
Who had they lived, had died but when
They died, Vitality begun.