I did myself today
Woke up and felt okay
I did myself today
Stood up and put on perfume
I did myself today
Walked out and felt okay
I did myself today
Broke down and made this..song

The pain of a death lasts another lifetime.

"Living life like
Russian roulette with an automatic."

You're gonna leave,
I hate you for that,
But I love you for it too.
I'm gonna miss you,
God..I'll miss you so much.

Until then,
And most likely after,
I'll live life
Like I'm spinning a cylinder
With the Reaper.

"I'm thirsty anyway,
So bring on the rain."

I need to be locked up,
The noises cost too much.
I get angry,
I wanna punch.
I feel bad.
I need to be locked up.

I'm like mold,
Growing and infecting
Everything in my path.
Feed on the dying,
**** off the living.
I'm not a good person,
It's not that hard to see.

I'm like mold,
Growing and infecting
Everything in my path,
And when they find me out,
Like an apple picked too late,
I'm afraid they'll look down,
And throw me in the trash.

My Grandma told me,
About a poem she wrote
About a sunset on the
Key West shore
Painting poems to be
Ethereal and bright,
Full of beauty and
Delight.
Which they are,
But

Here I sit,
Writing poems
About how much I'd love
To die.
Or writing poems
About what's inside my mind
Which seems to be
Terrible,
Dark and
Telling me to be
At the end of bights.
Lonely nights I've spent
Spend days travelling down
My brain to my pencil,
Tracing backwards
Symbols to conform to.
Writing these words
Like child's play to
Nightmares.

So tell me,
What's the real meaning of poet?
Sunsets or an experience
Making poetry
Or poesy your only catharsis?
I think or hope it's both
But either way
Like most folks,
I still don't know what the hell
I'm talking about.