I've been dancing
with the ghost
of you
I've been dreaming
of the past,
it's true
Now I'm thinking
of the present,
today
But you wished it
to hell and all
away

Even as a boy.
I always thought  I knew
what love  looked like.
She was soft curvy and blonde
with beautiful blue eyes.

I looked for her for years
and she finally showed up.
When she showed up
she was brunette wore glasses
that hid her brown eyes .
she hated my music
hated my friends
and in the end
she hated me.

It was ten years
before  love returned again.
This time she had a
short blonde pixie cut.
Green eyes and a perma smile.
She taught me that when a
woman is smiling it does not
reflect what she is thinking.
She played music all the time
that someone  else bought her.
She did buy me
my favorite ice cream though.
But she would eat it all
in midnight food binges.
as her music played.

I am now waiting for love
to come again.
It's been five years
but I know love
will show up.
I am sure of it.
when love left me I asked it to
leave my door open.
I kissed love softly goodbye.
And there were no tears.

I whispered softly to love.
thanks for coming to visit me.
I love it when you are around.
Don't be a stranger Love.
come back and see me soon.

I've been choking from the moment
I was forced to let you go
I should have spoke it out of poems
so that you would ever know
that I am bowing out & broken
want to unlearn every bone
until my heart re-bleeds the reasons
I keep sleeping here alone

so won't you
untie all my finger-tips
& hand me back my lungs
I was the fool that glued my heart to you
please can't you see what you have done ?

He turned away from you while you were on the ground
with bruises on your face lying with a puddle of blood next
to your cheek on the floor. With plead in your eyes, you glanced
his way because you thought this was love and you wanted more.

I'm simultaneously the happiest and saddest person.
And I'm still trying to figure out how that works.

I look up and I see this girl standing on the 50 yard line and a year ago I barely knew her and now I know her entire body and what she likes and dislikes and that she loves me and that I love her and there is this invisible force from her to me that holds us together and makes us one, and that without the other we cant imagine a world like that.

I look up and I see this girl standing on the 50 yard line who in a few years I will see walking down an aisle, flowers in her hand, veil on her head, and a white dress with tears in her eyes because we had finally made it and everything we ever wanted was finally coming true.

I look up and I see this girl standing on the 50 yard line who in a few years I will be sharing a house with and be raising kids with that look just like her and coming home and seeing her napping on our bed and I can't help but lay down next to her and hold her in my arms thinking back to when I thought I'd never be able to do that.

I look up and I see this girl standing on the 50 yard line and thats all I need to see to know that everything will be okay.