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  Jul 11 Kalliope
ADoolE
There once was a boy
with wonder in his bones,
soft little palms,
and a name never known—
not spoken with love,
nor held in the air—
just drifting through silence,
unseen, unaware.

The child didn’t vanish—
he learned how to hide.
He buried his spirit
somewhere deep inside.
He sang into silence,
so no one would know
that he walked without crying
through cold winds that blow.

And so came the Guardian—
not born out of might,
but forged out of fear
in the absence of light.
He stood like a shadow,
a sentinel still,
not asking for thanks—
only bending his will.

He built a quiet world,
where danger might rise.
He braced for the heartbreak,
learned silence replies.
He learned how to flinch
before words could land,
to spot every wound
before it was planned.

He wrapped up his pain
in layers unseen,
turned sorrow to insight
and called it routine.
He smoked when he felt numb,
watched hours drift by,
told himself “It’s okay”—
though he knew it’s a lie.

For armor can guard,
but it cannot grow.
It cannot feel love,
only weather the blow.
He was built not to dream,
nor to live, nor to hold—
but to shield the soft heart
from a world harsh and cold.

But the years moved along—
and the boy stirred within,
pressed his hand to the ribs
and whispered through skin:
“Is it safe yet?” he asked,
his voice faint and low.
The Guardian paused—
unsure how to let go.

“I don’t want protection.
I just want to be held.
I want to stop hiding,
to feel, to be well.”

And the Guardian answered,
his voice soft with pain:
“Not yet. Not yet.”
He repeated again.

But the words broke his silence—
he felt them ring true.
He had saved the young boy…
but locked his soul too.

And all he endured—
every scar, every fight,
now felt like a prison
that blocked out the light.
He wept not from failing,
but from being the wall—
from bearing the burden
that now must fall.

He was not the enemy.
He was the stay.
The quiet protector
who never walked away.
He carried the silence,
absorbed every blow,
while the boy learned to breathe
and to quietly grow.

But now, the world softens.
The war starts to cease.
And the Guardian stands
with no use for peace.
His armor, once noble,
now hangs like a weight—
a testament carved
by sorrow and fate.

He doesn’t regret it.
But he doesn’t know how
to stop being the shield
and just be here now.

And inside the silence,
the child still waits,
watching the doors,
watching the gates.

Hoping one day,
when the storms all subside,
he'll come to the Guardian,
stand by his side,

look in his eyes
with love—soft and true—
and say:
“You didn’t fail me.
You carried me through.
But now, it’s my turn.
I’ll take the next breath.
You’ve guarded enough—
you can rest.”

And maybe—
for the first time since all this began—
they dream not of safety…
but of sunlight again.
  Jul 11 Kalliope
Kiernan Norman
I touch things I’m not supposed to
and call it prayer.
mouth open,
spine bent,
tongue tasting the fence line.

They say longing is holy
if it stays quiet,
but mine doesn’t—
mine breaks the jar and drinks the oil.

They told me I was an open wound,
festering with verse and girlhood.
They weren’t wrong.
But wrong feels a lot like worship
when done slow enough.

They say impure
like it’s a curse,
but all my favorite girls
are made of swampwater and sin.

I’ve never confessed
without turning it into performance.
My mouth was built
for poetry
and plea deals.

I was thirteen
when I learned to ache
without making a sound.
Seventeen
when I turned it into scripture.
Twenty-five
when I realized no one was coming
to carry the body but me.

I keep trying to write
the right-sized truth
but it never fits in a single poem
or apology.

I want back the girl
who ran barefoot into fire
because she believed
it might be heaven.

I want someone to touch me like I’m soft—
even if I’m not.
Even if I bite back.

I want to grab
without apologizing
for how hot my hands are.
I want someone to look at me
like a threat they’d die for.

I want the kind of love
that makes funerals nervous.
I want to be written about
by someone who isn’t me.

And I want to want less.
But I don’t.

You want a softer girl?
Tell that to the altar
I keep burying her under.
Kalliope Jul 11
Someone asked if I know you today

Which was odd

I said no

I only once knew you
And I wish I never knew at all
Kalliope Jul 11
I am not sweet,
But I am kind.
I am not filtered,
I will speak my mind.

I don’t need saving,
I’m questing alone.
I’m bad with directions,
But I’ll still find home.

Don’t disrespect me-
Get the **** out of my way.
I’ve had too many distractions
Using my heart as their play.

I wear this armor
Locked around my soul,
But if I’m being honest,
True acceptance is my goal.
Maybe I am sweet though sometimes unkind, this armor I wear fails time after time.
Kalliope Jul 11
I’m shaking, I’m breaking, I don’t know what to say,
I know I have faults, but you made me this way.
I grew you gardens, you smashed them to the ground,
Made me feel like I was horrible to be around.

You’d do anything for me, a knight at my heel,
But when I got comfortable, that’s when you got real.
Suit of armor discarded, no time to waste,
I must submit and forget freedom’s taste.

I can’t trust your kindness, it always feels fake,
Anxiety peaked, each smile feels like a mistake.
I tunneled out, broke away from your ground,
But you broke my mind, my thinking unsound.

If someone is kind, my heart starts to race,
Because kindness once ended with knuckles to my face.
Trust in this world is so hard to be found,
I’m trying to heal, but I’m being too loud.

Yet I don’t know any other way,
Than to scream my thoughts and even my pain.
It’s up and down, this chaos I’m feeling,
It’s bitterly exhausting—
But I guess that’s just healing.
I want off this rollercoaster ride
I want away from this unsteady tide
I hate feeling like this at night
I know, I know it'll be alright
  Jul 10 Kalliope
LL
how long have I been
living a stranger to my
very own longing?

if I don't know what
I want, do I even know
who I really am?
2025/106
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