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 Jan 22 Jay
Kalliope
The feeling of safety, a net that you've woven, a thoughtful connection with a person you've chosen.
And though you were fine, and you gave up on yearning, his charm was unmatched, your affections he was earning.
Never were you bitter about being alone,
Look at you now, hand glued to your phone.
He was a kind man, a soft man, not mean,
And that's why it hurts worse that it's not meant to be.
The worst part about meeting someone after you've established being content being alone, is getting reacquainted with the loneliness when they're gone.
 Jan 21 Jay
Kalliope
I walked through your doors and it was cold,
Cathedral walls made of stone.
Everything towering over me,
Intimidating and exciting.
It was midday and the light through the windows cast rainbow lights, hues of blue and yellow against cold stone floors.
Mesmerized I couldn't move, desperate to study every intricate detail.
But now the day is done, darkness so thick it's suffocating.
So quiet and still the only thing I hear is my fear, I don't know how to get out.
I lost the entrance studying your walls, and now I pace in silence.
Everytime I get closer to the exit, the sun shines again.
And I'm drawn deeper into your maze following the beauty, until it's night and I'm lost more than before and craving your daylight.
I had to close my eyes and seek escape with my feet,
'For if I'd looked at you again I would never be free
 Jan 16 Jay
Kalliope
Cravings
 Jan 16 Jay
Kalliope
I want something sweet on the tip of my tongue,
a strawberry, some coolwhip, and coconut ***
I need it to send dopamine to my brain,
I want to stop laying here, going insane
Ice cream and syrup and sprinkles could do,
But after it all,
I'm still craving you.
Salted caramel cheesecake,
This separation's hard to take,
Peanutbutter French toast,
You are what I crave the most.
 Jan 16 Jay
Kalliope
I was made of fabric
Hair like silk framing my face
Naive eyes looking every which way
And through rough palms
I was strung along
And changed into tattered lace

I was made of leather
Firm but flexible
Looking for pleasure
I thought I knew better,
Had found the right way
I had to learn it hurts just as bad
To bend but not break

I am made of steel
Solid and sturdy, I don't have to feel
I can keep myself safe
It's okay to be alone at the end of the day
I built myself up, I filled my own cracks
It haunts my heart to think of my reckless past
You turned me into glass
A kaleidoscope heart
On display for your art
And I don't know how to revert back
 Jan 15 Jay
Kalliope
The tide rolls in, the tide pulls out, with every wave I'm drowning no doubt, totally surrounded, pulled deep in the undertow, my senses unfounded,
but you're where I want to go,
I'm thrashing and paddling, I'm searching for air, the current I'm straddling will take me somewhere, without reason I flow away from the shore;
Diving with intention?
I've never done that before.
If love is an ocean
I'm best left on the shore
I mindlessly dipped my toes in
And now I'll fade away to maritime lore
 Jan 15 Jay
Kalliope
Unraveled
 Jan 15 Jay
Kalliope
Unravel me like ribbons and bows,
Unravel my heart, my mind, and my soul.

You'll dance around every nerve in my brain, delicately driving me madly insane.

It's honey dripped words, it's deep chestnut eyes, a delicious combination I've slowly realized.

It's the way you made art, from the strands of my heart, I'm not made of steel, you reminded me what it is to feel.

Yet something so good, so yummy, divine,
Is easily tainted, like overnight wine.

And I want to be entangled whispering late into the night, but that's hard to do when everything's a fight
It started with my clothes,
Then soon came my heart,
But you've unraveled my mind,
And that's the hardest part.
 Jan 15 Jay
Kalliope
Life Map
 Jan 15 Jay
Kalliope
If I go to the left I miss out on the right,
And I'll never know what's right for me.
But I sit and feel doom, and plead with the moon to illuminate what I need to see.

The path was a fork, cut black and white
A simple 50/50 decision.
But under moon light, it's more than I thought, with unpaved paths through the grass that have risen.

A beautiful maze, all of these ways I could get to my destination,
But each road I turn too, the next one I yearn for, so I'm stuck here in purgatory station.
I don't want to be one thing,
I want to be all,
A mother, a lover, a friend, successful
But I can't shake the feeling,
That choosing a path
Puts one of my dreams to an end
 Jan 14 Jay
Kalliope
I've never left a person behind
I cling, I grasp, I claw,
Keeping them somewhere in my orbit.
For awhile you were the sun,
My reason to wake up,
Your warmth making me feel alive, at least for awhile.
But the sun is a star, and a star doesn't shine forever.
For a time you were my Earth,
My home, my safety, my comfort
My place to learn and grow and laugh and cry.
I thought I could keep you at this station forever.
But like a bad astronomer I can't decide which planet is where or which direction it flows, and you're lost in my mess doomed to be Pluto.
But Pluto is still a planet to me,
Ever so quietly orbiting my chaos,
Dodging every meteor I send your way,
But not letting me let go, refusing to be lost.
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Firefly
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
You're like fireflies in July
The air is thick
The night is dark
Your light mesmerizing me from where I stand
I'll try all night to catch up
Quietly moving through the dark
Waiting to see your glow beside me
But I'm too clumsy
And I am not quiet
And you're always five steps ahead
I'll try again tomorrow night
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Raft
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
If my mind was a river
You navigated her current expertly
But no one warned you
About the opening to the ocean
Your boat wasn't hurricane ready
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