I told you I wanted to die...
You immediately said no...
Didn't ask why... Just a no...
Why so direct, no hesitation?
You surely don't actually like me... Like I like you...
Maybe I've been living in an illusion...
I'm getting anxious...
I'm crumbling, I don't think you've noticed,
I'm distancing myself again, pushing away...
I'm getting bad again, I don't know what is worse...
You ignoring me, or me pushing you away (everyone away)...
I'm a wreck, a lost cause, maybe you should give up on me...
I would if I where you... I'm not worth it... Trust me... Please?

She has tried her hardest not always but often
She falters on occasions not often
She wants him to see how much she has done
She wants him to stand by her side when she is not at her best
She knows he is willing to do it sometimes not often
She knows that he feels sick just looking at her
She knows that he can't stand her
So, she backs away into silence right beside him
Right where he can see
Because unlike him she would stay at his worst
She would die for him always not often

I see your smile and your laugh.

It hurts.

Every time I look your way,
it feels like a stab to the chest.

Is it an act? a play?
To make me feel the pain I put you through?

You moved on, rose above
but I'm still here, drowning in the repercussions of our actions,

of my actions.

I'm now just a distant memory to you,

Forgotten

Where blood will not pour
Out of the cuts on our wrists
From the knives we drag across them
I have a dream

We will not hang ourselves
From the ceilings
And create pools from the tears of our loved ones
I have a dream

Taking the bottle of pills
Pouring them out into our throats
Swallowing them, hoping for the pain to go with it
I have a dream

Looking down into the river
Staring at the reflections
Of faces we don't recognise anymore
I have a dream

A day where we
Fill the cup of bleach and burn our mouths
And hoping to burn the pain of our lives with it
I have a dream