You’re a storm in summer,
So fast-moving and out of the blue,

You’re like the first day of Spring,
Blooming and slowly rising,
Amongst the decomposing earth,

You’re like a shifting darkness,
Hard to tell where you start and begin,
Filling the space with your whole being,

Your firelight flares up like a firefly,
So bright and fluttering through the twilight,

Your eyes glow with a glace of gold and rose,
So fired up on adrenaline,
Running through the countryside like a wild fox,

Your depression is like the deep artic sea,
When it gets so heavy you crawl into your shell,
So desolated with your own thoughts

You’re like a broken violin,
So beautiful but splintered with visible scars,
From the lovers who had misled you in the past

They say count your blessings when you are in a moment of uncertainty,
I bury my head in those moments of anxiety,
Again and again,
Unable to comprehend or justify my capability to get through this,
Tackling to appreciate what is in front of me,
Grinding through this belly ache,
Doubts are swirling in my stomach,
Palms are continually sweaty,
I strive to keep my calm,
Feeling disarmed and un-steady,
I keep telling myself this will be a positive change

It’s hard to admit,
When everything goes to ****,
I am addict,

It’s always been this way,
Started at a young age,
Sugary sweets and red wine,
Cider and champagne,
Pumping chemicals into my little brain,

I never really understood,
The impact it would have on my adulthood,
The alcohol soaked in my veins,

My friends had started to notice,
Each party would become exhaustion,

My friends had started to notice,
I was trying to up-hold this notion,

My friends became distance,
I couldn’t keep filling this emptiness,

Flourishing myself in ecstasy,
Of pleasure and dreams
Treated as a remedy,
To escape from my reality,

Morning after,
Sunken eyes,
Wondering the streets of Brighton,

I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again,
I couldn’t understand,

Why I stood with the pain,
Let myself become this way,
The struggles I hid,
Got worse within time

Diving into my insecurities,
Replaying the same mistakes
Unfolding memories from the deepest crease,
Mesmerizing the unforgettable words
Reminiscing over faint situations
Tears trembling down my face,
A wave of nerves tip toe down my spine,

Tearing my mind into pieces
Thoughts are scattering around,
Blemishing the good thoughts
Peeling away the flesh of my sanity,
Revealing layers of my anxiety

Losing sight of what’s right
A misunderstanding of my identity,
A willingness to be distant
From the people I love dearly

The two brothers wait for me arrive home,
They call themselves Anxiety and Fear,
Fear with his grimace smile,
Welcomes me in with his rigid glare,
He takes one look at me,
Reminds me I am vulnerable and fragile,
Anxiety plays along,
With his insolent tone,
Tells me I am an ignorant fool,
Mocking me of my wisdom,
Fear reminds me I am blind,
I know deep down they are right,

Fear is talking with a big smile to Anxiety,
The two brothers begin to laugh as I sit and calculate,
My heart begins to ache,
Anxiety points out the truth,
I can’t deny how I went wrong,
Fear places his hands on my shoulders,
I start to cry as I am unable to conceal these thoughts,
He whispers in my ear he will always be there,
Anxiety places his hands in mine
He always said one day I will suffer
No one to save you,
Like vultures they begin to circulate,
I must stay calm,

I rise firm to my feet,
So you want to mess with me?
Fear retreats to the corner and hisses,
It doesn’t matter what you have to say,
How long you keep these thoughts at bay,
Anxiety continues to linger around,
Analysing every inch and sound,

I was naïve and innocent to follow to your dark psyche,
Fear attempts to shut me up,
Yelling nonsense in my ear,
Anxiety joins in playfully,
Twisting and turning my stomach,

I take a deep breathe,
I will not follow blindly to the devil in disguise,
I will not tolerate these fears and let them ride me,
I will not let anxiety take over my strive,
My devotion will be dedicated to creativity and insanity,
You are just made believed.

The two brothers wince at my capability to be brave,
Anxiety recoils and hallows a piercing shriek,
Fear grimaces and spits venom at me,
I catch the venom and throw it back at Fear,
I owe you nothing