After a long time
He was standing in front of me
The man I loved the most
He was there
Dressed in white
He looked peaceful
I couldn't look at him
For a moment
I wonder if he could look past my trembling body

He came to me
And softly whispered
"Look at me"
so I did
And I captured him
In my eyes
my heart
and in my soul
In a place
where no one could be

I wonder
if he could see
the pain in my eyes
if he could see the longing
In my heart
As I stared at him

I wonder
if his heart
Ached at the thought
Of the pain
he caused me
As my eyes burned
Igniting a fire in my soul
I wonder
at what moment did he decide
That he didn't love me anymore


As I stare it him

I wonder
if he could see all the emotions
Wrapped like
ropes around my soul
Did they make him feel
The guilt of breaking my trust apart
Did he see
my red eyes
As hot tears poured out of them
Did he realize
That he wrecked my mind
my heart and my soul?

I wonder
if he knew
How much I longed
For the warmth of his body
To have his hand wrapped around mine

I smiled at him
He was like the sun
Shinning bright
He didn't need any help
But my darling
I was the moon
Without him
I have no light
No soul

I wonder
If he knew
He took the light
Away from my soul

As I held out my hand
To touch him
For the last time
As my heart is clenching
Begging me to make him stay
I could feel the air trapped in my throat
As I struggled to breathe
I bring his forehead
And hold it against mine

He kissed me for last time
He didn't say goodbye
As he walked away
I wonder
If he knew
He took my soul away.

It’s been years.
I don’t think about the pain as much.
It doesn’t affect me that much.

But once in a while,
when I’m alone
walking down the same lanes.
when the breeze is soft,
the sky is clear.
When I’m surrounded by strangers,
I still feel you hand holding mine.
And for a moment
just a moment
I feel you in my heart.
And I smile
loving the ache in my heart.
And I whisper,”I love you “
And walk away
again drowning the the busy life.

There are a lot of things I regret.
The most I regret is
Wishing that he was dead.
Rather than living
To hurt me
Crushing my heart.
I never wanted
Anything bad
even for my worst enemies.
But he drove me to the point
Where I wished for his death.

I wonder
Who is actually
The monster here.

Sometimes
A heart beat
A pair of arms
The warmth of the body
Around yours
Can make you feel happy

Ah
People say
Don't look for happiness
In other human beings
But let me tell you
Shhh
nothing can take the place
Of a warm hug
And a smile
Of the beloved

And sometimes
Even a stranger.

You come to me as the first rain
After a drought
Giving the peace to my soul.
Like the first snowflake
From the sky
Cold yet so beautifully crafted.
Like the wind
Harsh yet so soothing.
Like the smell of the soil
After a thunderstorm
Calming my heart.

But just like all of these
You too, never last.

And just like all of these
I love you
Very much.

I may not have told you
How much I love you
But my every poem
Every story
Every letter
My every word
Bleeds the love I have for you