Where will I be this time next year?

I've come back
Unapologetically
Dropped the act
Ignoring what was thought of me
Like a smack
Woken up from darkened dreams
Stealth attack
I've gotten back my everything
Watch me crack
But never lost a broken piece
Welcome back
Yes, I've come back

Out there—lost in a sea of blue.
Somewhere between dusk and dawn waiting for that golden hue.

Carrying on with moments of infatuations
Experimenting life with new preparations
After years of variations
Bearing all the limitations
Following imitations
Consoling with obligations
Fighting bravely with the situations
Experiencing death's insinuations
Feeling a delightful expectation

I wanted to
buy
you a Christmas
gift,
but you wouldn't
tell
me what you
liked
so I wrote
this
poem for you
instead.

the way you hold that sandwich,
the way you look at me,
a joy in your eyes,
the one that claws at me.

i don't want to love you,
there's no reason to, no logic,
but here i am,
wondering why you won't set me free.