For me you are the light that others search for an entire lifetime and don't find, i just hope that you always stay bright and shine.

When will my tree grow?
I water her, feed her, & make sure she gets enough sun.
Why won't my seed grow?
I used to have a green thumb.

Trees are supposed to be beautiful & powerful,
so what's wrong with mine?
All the other trees are sprouting, why am I stuck behind?
I can't do anything right
And this soil is so dry.

I'm trying to break free

At least I'm already buried.

why did they teach you
to cut yourself
on their greed and their sorrow,

even the boys in the books
have pain
you want to swallow

hate is a strong word,
so is detest
and so is loathe
they're not emotions to be planted easily

so.... why do I find myself
gathering resentment,
comparing joys and have nots,
planting them in my garden of envy
for someone unworthy of it all?

prying through the screen
bustling through naked assumptions
guilty as charged I am

my mind says do not
you'll find empty abyss
but my heart says go on,
eat the crippling doubt,
you may find the thing you were afraid to be mad about

It’s past midnight in my mind
My insecurities run the second half
Of this alluring moment in my life
I wish I could take the driver seat
But I’ve let my demons take control
Masking who I want to be
Lord knows, the flaw of humanity  
We mess up,
some things we never meant to Be

Keep the world beneath your feet
Even when you feel so small
Everyone has a chance to change
Progress may be moving slowly
Move at the rhythm of your own pace
Only you can be your savior
Validate your own feelings
In the end it’s your life
No else will take control  
Go ahead, the world is yours

if i woke up this morning and decided to off myself
for the first time in my life
i'd be putting myself first.