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143 · Feb 20
Before Bed
Lostling Feb 20
Quiet nights alone
Pen scratching against paper
Finally, day's end
139 · Feb 1
I’ve lost my tongue
Lostling Feb 1
I sit at my chair
For hours on end
Staring at the blank paper

The story is at the tips of my fingers
The characters chatter in my mind, ready to take the stage
But to my horror

My words are gone and only the silence remains
I’ve been silent for so long I’ve forgotten how to speak
139 · Aug 14
I'm Fine
Lostling Aug 14
I'm

Falling apart and rotting away
Insecure, lost, with nowhere to stay
Nothing worth loving, an echo to ****
Endlessly crying on my window sill
Just tired today
137 · Jun 14
Those are my socks
Lostling Jun 14
"Be flexible, the flexible ones are those who survive."

No.
We are the ones who get taken advantage of.
They see us bend once--
Heart stretching, limbs folding backwards--
We don't break.
Instead we always fix ourselves
A smile stretched across our faces.

And so they pull
Push
Twist
Yank
All because we're flexible
All because we can handle it
My sibling took my socks while we were packing for our trip, leaving me with less socks than needed. I found them and took them back. Then we got into a fight. Our mom told us that "flexible people are the ones who survive in the world."
Maybe she doesn't know what it's like to always give in, to be a pushover. Anyways so now I'm wearing shoes with no socks about to hike up a mountain cause I'm too ****** to unpack my luggage.
(I can reuse so I have enough, but she took what mine and I feel like no one cares)
136 · Mar 26
Mourning You; Alive
Lostling Mar 26
And suddenly I’m at your funeral                                              
                                                                ­   again. Your body is

          bloodied, laying in the little, black, box.        
  
                                                             ­  Your face is marred.

Or maybe it’s my tears                                                            ­              
                                                  ­     that make me                                    
                forget
   ­                                                                 ­                        how you look(ed)
              You shouldn’t be there.               I won’t be there.
                                              Unless you call for me.         But
                                                             ­                 dead people don’t speak.
And then I’ll climb down to your bed
Just to make sure you’re still breathing
135 · Jan 31
To Fit In
Lostling Jan 31
From days of flight
To nights of tears
To hazy smoke all year round
The light I once was is now blurring

“Too bright!” They said
“Too much!” They cried
And so I faltered
Flickering
Dimming
Dying
Till the voices stopped

They pointed to my hair
My tongue
My legs
My heart
My hands
My soul
My eyes

Everything that didn’t belong
Everything they wanted gone

What was I to do?
And so I let them hold the knife
Against my chest
Sliding between my ribs
Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
As they cut away the best parts of me
Going from homeschooling to school, I suffered a lot because of the loss of freedom.
130 · Jul 7
Life
Lostling Jul 7
One who can never die, and
One who has a day left to live

Will both live
Without regard for their future
Just a thought. If you're immortal, nothing matters cause you're desensitized from the years and no action’s consequence can **** you. And the latter has no future.
124 · Apr 1
无 (Nothing)
Lostling Apr 1
Do you ever wake up at 1am and ask yourself
“Why do they care?”
“Why should they care?”

Why do they listen
To things I say?
Constant rambling—
Everyday.

Why do they ask
‘Bout the tears that fall?
It’s “pick me” nature
After all.

Why do they care
If I shine or rain?
Always too much
Always a pain.

Why do they care
When my hands start to shake?
When my voice cracks,
When I bend til I break?

Why do they search
When I vanish, withdraw?
Worried voices calling
Frozen walls thaw

Do you ever wake up at 1am and ask yourself
“Do they really care?”
112 · Jul 10
Without you
Lostling Jul 10
If I was a melody
Then you would be the harmony
Cause you would be the part of me I lack

And if I was the moon above
Then you would be the sun I love
Yeah you would be the light that I reflect

And I don’t know what I would do without you
All I know is this

The stars could die a million miles away
The earth could shake and cities blaze
Still I would love you—fire, snow or rain
I’d hold you, keep you safe from all the pain
A song draft I finished but abandoned
110 · Apr 28
28/4/2025
Lostling Apr 28
Some days I find myself reading through past messages, trying to remember how I felt back then.
A part of me thinks that maybe, just maybe, if I’d reached out for help instead of gently closing every door, I wouldn’t be like this;
Chewing on paper clips for the taste of blood on my tongue instead of my fingers so my parents would stop complaining about the bite marks on my hands.
I think I’m just glad they never look beyond the jackets I wear 24/7 or the number of cat scratches I got recently or the ghost that paces around our house on sleepless nights.

...

.  .  .
Sighhhhhhhhh....
106 · Apr 16
Doubt
Lostling Apr 16
If you doubt yourself
You start to doubt others
And if you doubt others
You’ll start to doubt everyone
Til there’s no one you can trust
102 · Jan 31
War
Lostling Jan 31
War
War.
Such a small word for something so big
What does it mean?
Gunshots ringing through the air as his strong arms wrap around me, covering my ears
I can still hear the screams
Families are ripped apart
The ones that survive pick up the broken pieces, if there are any left
Most of them are broken too, shattered souls still bleeding
Many have no tears left to cry, hearts freezing over, sharp icicles drawing blood, both theirs and others
Everything is grey. Even his eyes look...dead
A few nights ago we were clinging to each other, was it for warmth or comfort? It didn't matter
Phantom feelings of a ruined past, like a ghostly touch, start to stir
A melody I can't quite grasp, sung by a memory, forever lost to the chaos
I can almost picture an angel-white dove taking flight
It keeps me going through the pain
But when I open my eyes, it's fallen, red staining its feathers
His calloused hands were cold and still, wrapped around me in a final embrace
His last promise to protect me
The gods came that day, too
They were too late
Now I think to myself, "Is it really over?"
And every time, my reflection whispers back, "No, it's not."
85 · Jul 24
Zip it
Lostling Jul 24
Open up my skin
Cause I won’t open up my soul
And so I keep it all within
I’m kinda rotting, don’t you know?
I’ll make the body scream
Drown out the spirit’s cries
I’ve been killing all my dreams
Cause in the end they were just lies
Yay rap
Lostling Jul 23
It’s alright.
Everyone feels differently.
There is no shame
In what you feel.
Your heart, no matter how different
Is still perfect and beautiful.

It’s alright.
I still love you
And miss you
And know that I matter to you
Just in a different way

It’s alright.
These tears aren’t meant for you
Or anyone else.
Just for me
And the past that can never return

It’s alright.
I just wish I was too.
Don’t tell her
72 · Jul 20
Love; rationed
Lostling Jul 20
She’s pretty—
Sharp chin, long lashes
Smooth skin and bright eyes,
Shining with a darkness
Only the moon could have.

And I yearn to hold her,
To be held by her, and
Tell her how much I love her

Yet she pushes back,
Handing out her love like rations
When I am but a starving child

I will always be too much for her
And she will never be enough
Maybe our love languages just don't match or something
41 · 3d
Infection
Tight skin throbbing
Under sleeves long

Prickling hums
Growing red and warm

Sweat trickles
Lines start to ache

Nails making sure
They never fade
I just keep picking at them

— The End —