I used to be a rose,
Now I'm mostly just thorns.

I'm not sorry I loved you,
I'm sorry I didn't leave you when I had the chance.

Street lights illuminates your tired eyes
Cigarette smoke envelopes us
Distorting our lies
the guitar in our hands
the only thing keeping us alive
we pass it around like a tired lover
In this concrete suburbia
Steal beams wrap themselves around our throats,
tonight we'll scream until angels hear our mournful serenade
and write letters to God demanding that he save us.
The susurration of these strings set us free
These leaves fall around our heads
making us remember the times they made us bleed
Silence is the only thing we fear tonight
We need to escape this cookie cutter prison
So we hit the pavement
driving into whatever gust pulls at us
Wind in my hair
breath in the trees
We streak down the street forgetting the definition of control
Tonight we'll leave an epic story of
Love and defeat.
The breeze drags us to your old home town
The one that beat you down then questioned why you bleed
We stopped at your old house looking up at the battered blinds
Dragging our feet in the midnight breeze we wander the town
and I listen to stories of bravery and deceit.
coming across the tea light battered gazebo in the middle of town
I spin underneath letting the world around me fade into a blur of faces and trees and light
It feels as though I've spiraled out of this destructive planet
into my own galaxy
One where no one can touch me and we can be free.
The hands of the night push me forward to a child's play structure
ripping me back into our stratosphere
I run to it letting myself be young again
forgetting the anxieties that plague my waking hours
I climb as fast as my arms will carry me swinging to the top
Laughter erupts from a place inside me i forgot exists
As I scream obscenities into the darkened sky
screaming to the stars like they give a ****
but I'll make them care
we are all born to die
but tonight oblivion wont find me
I'm crossing my name off of the tombstone.
Rickety swings call my name as I pump my tired legs
willing myself higher and higher until i feel as though I'll fall into the darkness above me and become one with the beauty around me.
That night I did not fear death
I did not fear that I would run out of time before I lived
But I know people who were not so lucky
At 3am we all snuck onto the elementary school grounds
that you went to for 7 years
to pay homage to a dead boy I never met.
Philip, I never met you
but you sounded so brilliant
and I’m sorry that light had to be snuffed out prematurely.
I’m sorry you never got to run around at midnight
with people who make you feel alive.
I’m so sorry you never got the chance to live like you were dying.
I decided that night to live for both of us.
I’ll explore this world
Wrap my experiences around this realm
So that way maybe when I join you in yours
You’ll be proud.
When we leave I smile
Tonight we are alive
I jump on a strangers back
riding off towards a sleepy city
And even when we tumble and stumble down
Pavement biting into our sides
I feel no pain
Just a rupture of color and light.
This world may drag us down
But it isnt the end
We sit on an old bench
trading stories of lost loves
and broken promises
Maybe this is a shout into the void
and maybe no one will hear this
But I AM ALIVE
WE ARE INFINITE
On the ride home we cranked up the stereo
Spinning out of control in turnarounds
sliding into each other
and when we get back
I know we all won’t forget this night.
We won’t forget each other.
We are tied together with a red thread
binding us for life.
Tonight we were eternity.

I've said this a million
times before.
But I want my footprint
to stay in the sand.
I want it to be so big
so that when the ocean
tries to wash me away
it'll fall in my memory.
I want to be so big
so that no one can move me.

Just erosion and peoples
memory.
Everything gets twisted.
I mean you remember that game
telephone?
Yeah. Haha everything gets
twisted.

One day my words won't have
the same meaning.
I'm alright with that.
I mean I do believe in
evolution.

My motto and mantra
has been "**** it."
And it's been ******* me over.
I thought I'd splash around
in life a bit.
Jumped head first.
Man I didn't really think
About the distance.

I'm drowning in everything.
I love it.
My body's been adapting.
It learned that drugs
change my perception
and then I can breathe.

I'm working on getting
a breathing tube.
Healthier.
Turns out drugs make
you need one of those too.

My blood runs black.
I blame myself and the
tar I dreamt about last night.

Dreams aren't ideas.
Just thoughts and figments.
Idea's are the only things
that really stay.
Like I can remember a cereal
I was going to create at
seven.
But I can't remember
exactly what I thought
when my dog ripped my
doll's head off.

My skin crawls
with the broken
promises you keep
picking out of your
teeth.

But I have my share
of those underneath my
fingernails so I guess
I shouldn't open my mouth.

We all have lies tucked
under our tongue
like the pills of a stubborn
mental patient.

My spine shivers
with the fact
you probably moaned
in her ear like
you do mine
and I feel needles
***** my skin
as I think of you
saying I'm no longer
needed.
But the way you
pushed me against
a brick wall, and
balled your hand in
my hair and held
me like I was
the only safety you had
during a hurricane
had me a bit dizzy.

You didn't know what
you were doing without
me, and then wished
you had never talked
to me.

But the way you
smirked as I moaned
your name
and the way you
inched your way
through my brick walls
has me obsessed
with you again.

You're a dark knight
and your armour
doesn't exist.
The only protection
you have is your
******* attitude.

I once said your
eyes were lassos
around my waist
and I never realized
how true that was.

Because it doesn't
matter what you do.
For some reason I
keep going back to you.

Like worms in the pit of
apples there are maggots
in the pit of my veins.

I am fossil fuel and
I'll run out eventually.
You can't depend on me.
   My skin is a monument
   and I am slowly chipping
   away.

Every lake is Elaura's
but they're still puddles
grass as tall as trees.
   Vines digging through
my cochlea, swishing the
liquid and I swear I
hear god coming.

The nineteenth you kissed
me. She was in your mind
all night and you stayed with
the man who declared me
"Mine."

My skin is crawling of nightmares.
and my eyes have spiderwebs
in them. Cobwebs of dead love
growing on my eyelashes.
   Don't expect me to cry.
   My tears are just dew
   on the grass above my
   grave.
     My tears are just acid
     rain decaying my memory.

The sharpie we swear
will stay decays under
my nails.

"I didn't try to **** myself."
    I'm out in four days.
"I was just ******."
    And these burns mean nothing.
I lie so often I don't know
what honesty means.
    I read it backwards
    spell it with an "A"
and now honesty just means
    a complicated puzzle and
    a kindergarten mind.

My veins are so twisted
I don't even know if they
pump blood right.

I don't really think I'm
alive.

He said he no longer knows
the person who wears my
mask of a face.
   The bones are ripping through,
   and I feel Jekyll coming out
   of Hyde.

I'll fall off cliffs and land
in lava before you work out
the knots of tree branches
in my joints.

   My tendons are worms
and my bones are cracked concrete
that you can't fix by pouring
more in me.

It tastes worse than brick
going into my lungs but I
stick it there
like a lock and moan
as it pierces my heart
and breaks a few ribs.
   Because it's smoke.
   I asked for the pain
   and enjoyed all three
   ****** of sharks puncturing
my arteries.
  
My heart is metal
but you still short
circuit
my mother board and
I swear this ship is
going down.

Let's make it the Titanic.
or maybe Romeo and Juliet.
Have people romanticize our
tragedy.

Then I'll smile through
my tears.
   Maybe we can bow during
   the standing ovation too.

I floated in you as
we ran and you held me
against the wall
and I was very inside
your arms, I was
in you.

He came down as we got
high. You had me on
lock down because I
ran through the basement
and you couldn't keep up
very well. As they questioned
my ability to keep running
as my lips stuck to my teeth.

Staring at you across the room
your eyes raked my body
and your knees shaked.
I'm pretty sure you bit your
lip and stared at me
for awhile.

I was tripping in the hallway when
you came out.
The wall was liquid
and I was painting
with it.
I'm friends with your kind
of ex girlfriend
and I want to feel her
skin against mine.
I want her bones to
grind with me.
And I know I'm very ******
up right now.
But I'm floating in a crowd
and somehow I'm holding
my bladder down.
I am air
and nothing can touch me.

I have to be the image of
perfection soon.
So help me god,
I am no where near
having a halo.